Nasby in Exile: or, Six Months of Travel in England, Ireland, Scotland, France, Germany, Switzerland and Belgium, with many things not of travel
John Locke · en
The Master of the Horse receives two thousand five hundred pounds, the
Master of the Buck-hounds one thousand seven hundred pounds, Hereditary
Grand Falconer one thousand two hundred pounds, (by the way kings don't
falcon any more), then there are eight Equerries in Ordinary at seven
hundred pounds each, which is certainly cheap; five Pages of Honor at
one hundred and twenty pounds each, and a Master of the Tennis Court,
which is a sort of a ten pins, I suppose, at one hundred and thirty-two
pounds.
These, understand, are only a few of the people belonging to the Royal
household. There are over a thousand persons, male and female, attached
thereto, all receiving magnificent salaries, for real or imaginary
services to Her Majesty.
[Illustration: INHABITANTS OF A BOG VILLAGE.]
The Queen receives, exclusive of the vast income of her estates, for the
running of her household and pensions for the dead-beats who get too old
to show themselves, the enormous sum of four hundred and seven thousand
pounds, or, in American money, two million thirty-five thousand dollars
per annum! And this represents but a portion of the swindle, as
constantly allowances are being made and annuities granted which do not
show upon paper, and can only be reached by the most ferret-like
acuteness and perseverance.
Ninety per cent. of all this mummery, for which the people of England
have to pay in good hard cash, is the most absurd and utter nonsense.
Like falconry and all that business, it has gone out of date. In the old
times kings kept buck-hounds and flew falcons, and such offices were
necessary, that is, if kings were ever necessary, which I deny, but it
has all gone, never to return. But the offices remain--and the salaries.
They are kept up to make places for illegitimate children of lords, for
poor relations of royalty and nobility, and for favorites whose fathers
or themselves have done dirty work for the government.
In the name of all that's good, what does the Queen of England want of
eight ladies of the bed-chamber, and thirteen women of the bed-chamber?
Can't she unhook her dress and corset, untie the fastenings of her
skirts, peel off her clothes, draw on her woolen night-cap over her
foolish old head, and turn in the same as other women? What does she
want of all these people about her? I can understand that it would take
that number and more to make the ancient nuisance presentable in the
morning, but why tax the people of Great Britain forty-four thousand
pounds a year for this service?
And then when it is taken into account that the entire royal family have
each all this humbuggery, to a less extent, it can be figured up what a
very expensive thing royalty is, and how wise the American people were
to bundle the whole business off the continent at the time they did.