“Chut!” she said, flitting noiselessly to my side. “You mustn't talk.”
And then she poured something down my throat. I lay back, wondering
what it all meant. Presently a grizzled and tanned man, wearing a narrow
black tie, came into the room. His face seemed oddly familiar. The nurse
whispered to him. He came up to the bed, and asked me in French how I
felt.
“I don't know at all,” said I.
He laughed. “That's a good sign. Let me see how you are getting on.”
He stuck a thermometer in my mouth and held my pulse. These formalities
completed, he turned up the bedclothes and did something with my body.
Only then did I realise that I was tightly bandaged. My impressions grew
clearer, and when he raised his face I recognised the doctor who had sat
on the sofa with Anastasius Papadopoulos.
“Nothing could be better,” said he. “Keep quiet, and all will be well.”
“Will you kindly explain?” I asked.
“You've had an operation. Also a narrow escape.”
I smiled at him pityingly. “What is the good of taking all this trouble?
Why are you wasting your time?”
He looked at me uncomprehendingly for a moment, and then he laughed as
the light came to him.
“Oh, I understand! Yes. Your English doctors had told you you were going
to die. That an operation would be fatal--so your good friend
Madame Brandt informed us--but we--_nous autres Francais_--are more
enterprising. Kill or cure. We performed the operation--we didn't kill
you--and here you are--cured.”
My heart sickened with a horrible foreboding. A clamminess, such as
others feel at the approach of death, spread over my brow and neck.
“Good God!” I cried, “you are not trying to tell me that I'm going to
live?”
“Why, of course I am!” he exclaimed, brutally delighted. “If nothing
else kills you, you'll live to be a hundred.”
“Oh, damn!” said I. “Oh, damn! Oh, damn!” and the tears of physical
weakness poured down my cheeks.
“_Ce sont des droles de gens, les Anglais_!” I heard him whisper to the
nurse before he left the room.
Belonging to a queer folk or not, I found the prospect more and more
dismally appalling according as my mind regained its clarity. It was the
most overwhelming, piteous disappointment I have ever experienced in my
life. I cursed in my whimpering, invalid fashion.
“But don't you want to get well?” asked the wide-eyed nurse.
“Certainly not! I thought I was dead, and I was very happy. I've been
tricked and cheated and fooled,” and I dashed my fist against the
counterpane.
“If you go on in this way,” said the nurse, “you will commit suicide.”
“I don't care!” I cried--and then, they tell me, fainted. My temperature
also ran up, and I became lightheaded again. It was not until the next
day that I recovered my sanity. This time Lola was in the room with the
nurse, and after a while the latter left us together. Even Lola could
not understand my paralysing dismay.