“I’ll go on with my work, and she can go to the devil!” he said.
And he walked on through the endless streets.
*****
It is a simple way to rid ourselves of burdens, to consign them to
Avernus, and ship them on the waters of Lethe. Unfortunately it is not
always successful. They are apt to be elusive, like the vampire in the
Indian story which Vikram could not keep in his sack. They slip from the
hold of the dark ship, and return to the shoulders of the consigner. But
in this Goddard’s pride allowed no confession of failure. He blustered
himself into the belief that Lady Phayre was no more to him than Hecuba
was to the First Player, thus playing the hypocrite to himself with
morose and stubborn futility. He plunged into his work with redoubled
energy, grew angry when he found that it did not give him the old
sufficing happiness, and obstinately refused to allow the simple,
obvious cause.
And then the new element of discord in his life had to be accepted and
harmonised. Lizzie was going from bad to worse. He brought Emily to live
in the house to take permanent charge of her. Together they tried to
mitigate the evil, to circumvent her in her plans for obtaining drink;
but she was more than their equal in cunning. The disease had laid its
everlasting grasp upon her. She sank daily in degradation. Daniel
could not cheat himself into the fancy of freedom from this burden of
loathing. Yet he was a man with a keen sense of justice. The more his
heart revolted, the more doggedly did he repress outward manifestation.
He bore her reproaches silently, strove to render her lot less bitter.
“I believe you’re an angel from heaven, Daniel,” said Emily once. She
always had looked up to him with reverential adoration. “How you can put
up with her I don’t know. You’re a living angel if ever there was one.”
“You think so, do you, Em?” he answered with a rough laugh, rather
touched. “Well, go on thinking so. It won’t do me any harm.”
Only once did Lizzie refer to the night of Lady Phayre’s visit. It was a
Sunday evening. Emily had gone to church, and had left the two together
in the drawing-room. Daniel was smoking a pipe over a book, and Lizzie
was engaged with some needlework--a rare occupation. She had been less
fretful that day, had even asked him to sit with her. Gradually, as
Daniel read, her efforts with her needle became spasmodic. There were
intervals of gazing into the fire, and sudden resumptions of industry.
Then she rose, moved about the room, idly examining nicknacks and
fidgeting with furniture. At last she left the room, and entered her
bedroom that adjoined.
Suddenly Daniel’s attention was arrested by a sharp tinkling sound. He
started to his feet and went quickly to join Lizzie. It was as he had
suspected. By the half-light of the dim-burning gas he saw her thrusting
a bottle beneath some garments in a trunk. A glass half full of spirits
was close by on the mantelpiece.
“Lizzie! How can you?” he cried.
She turned upon him in a fury.