And then click! the hag that had ridden him had been thrown from his
shoulders, and he had looked upon the dead through the eyes of a sane
man. And now, through the eyes of a sane man he regarded the incredible
spectacle of his self of yesterday. He turned from it with shivers of
disgust. He must have been mad. A great depression came upon him. He had
suffered grievous wrongs, it is true; no man since Job had been more
sorely afflicted; the revelations of human baseness and treachery had
been such as to kill his once childlike faith in humanity. But why had
loss of faith sent him mad? What had his brain been doing to allow this
grotesque impulse to over-master it? At the present moment, he assured
himself, he had neither more nor less faith in mankind than when he had
walked a maniac through the London streets, or during last night’s
tortured journey in the train. Yet now he desired to commit no
wickedness. The thought of evil for evil’s sake was revolting. . . . The
self that he had striven to respect and keep clean all his life, had
been soiled. Wherein lay purification?
Had he been mad? If so, how could he trust his memory as to what had
happened? By the grace of God those acts of wickedness whose
contemplation he remembered, had been rendered nugatory. Even Tommy had
not materially suffered, seeing that he had kept the will intact and had
placed two thousand pounds to his banking account. But could he actually
have committed deeds of wickedness which he had forgotten? Were there
any such which he had committed through the agency of the three evil
counsellors? He racked his memory in vain.
The time at Marseilles passed gloomily. Poynter, the good Samaritan,
started the first evening for Devonshire to satisfy his hungry soul with
the unutterable comfort of English fields. Clementina and Quixtus saw
him off at the station and walked back through the sultry streets
together. The next day he was left much to his own company, as
Clementina broke the news of death to the child and stayed with her for
comfort. He wandered aimlessly about the town, seeking the shade, and
wrapping himself in his melancholy. When he saw Sheila in the afternoon
she was greatly subdued. She understood that her father had gone to
Heaven to stay with her mother. She realised that she would never see
him again. Clementina briefly informed Quixtus of the child’s grief. How
she had cried and called for him most of the morning, how she had fallen
asleep and had awakened more calm. To distract her mind and to give her
the air, they hired a taxi-cab and drove on the Corniche Road past the
Restaurant de la Réserve. Sheila’s tiny body easily nestled on the seat
between them, and she seemed comforted by the human contact. From Pinkie
she also derived great consolation. Pinkie was stupid, she explained,
and she couldn’t talk; but really she was a fairy princess, and fairy
princesses were always affectionate. Pinkie was stuffed with love as
tight as she could hold.