“No wonder you haven’t forgiven me,” he cried, with characteristic
directness. “To run away from a woman in such circumstances would be the
unforgivable sin. But I swear to God I never knew. She gave no hint, and
I saw her only a few days before I left. Such a possibility never
entered my mind. Has never entered it. I may be any kind of a sinner,
but not such a scoundrel as that. I left her because we were miserable
together.—I did my best—now and then a brief reconciliation.—I
suppose she tried too, in her way.—After the last, things were worse
than ever. And then there was the life of someone else I couldn’t
sacrifice—a flower of a thing. I felt my wife would be glad to see the
last of me. So I fled like Christian from the Burning City. If I had
known that—well, that I was leaving this responsibility behind me, I
should have faced things out. My God! man, you must believe me,” he
ended passionately.
Sheepshanks through his thick gold spectacles met Baltazar’s fierce gaze
for a few moments. Then he held out his hand: “I believe you, J. B., and
doing so takes a great load off my mind.”
“I’ve noticed your avoidance of the old name,” said Baltazar. “It must
have been in pretty evil odour for the past twenty years or so.”
“You’re such an incalculable fellow,” said Sheepshanks, with a kind
smile. “The romance you so delicately suggest never occurred to any of
us.”
“Well, well,” said Baltazar, “all that is done and over long ago.
Anyhow, I wasn’t the heartless wretch Cambridge must have taken me for.
I leave my rehabilitation in your hands. To me now the main, staring,
extraordinary fact is that I have a son. A son. I, who thought I was
wandering lonely as What’s-his-name’s cloud. I’ve got a son. A
mathematician. The same lunatic quirk of brain. If he were the village
idiot—it would be different.—You remember the ghastly story of Guy de
Maupassant? But not only my own flesh and blood, but my own flesh, blood
and intellect.” He paced about the room. “What kind of a fellow is he?
Is he like me? Have you seen him?”
“Yes; once. Crosby—you remember Crosby?” He waved a hand towards the
college visible through the window.
“Yes, yes,” said Baltazar, impatiently.
“Crosby asked me to breakfast, one day, to meet him. The son of John
Baltazar, senior mathematical scholar of his year, was a curiosity. We
didn’t tell the young man so. Indeed, I suppose he wondered why such an
old fossil like myself was there.”
“Never mind what he thought of old fossils, my dear Sheepshanks. What
was he like?”
“Like you. Quite recognizable. But fairer, and though sensible and
manly, less—if you will allow me to say so—less of a firebrand.”
“Anyhow, a good straight chap. Not merely low mathematical cunning
enveloped in any kind of smug exterior?”
“He’s a son any father would be proud of,” said Sheepshanks.
“And where is he now?”
Sheepshanks made a vague gesture. “Where is all the gallant youth of
England? Over there, fighting.”
“Are you sure?”