Her smile as we parted sent a chill through me, being the smile of a
mask instead of a woman’s face; and it was not the face of Judith. I
don’t anticipate much merriment tomorrow evening.
At Carlotta’s suggestion, I have sent a line to Pasquale to ask him to
join us. His gay wit will lend to the entertainment a specious air of
revelry which Carlotta will take as genuine.
I have often thought lately of the hopeless passion of Alfonso the
Magnanimous of Naples, as set forth by Pope Pius II in his Commentaries;
for I am beginning to take a morbid interest in the unhappy love affairs
of other men and to institute comparisons. If they have lived through
the torment, why should not I? But Alfonso sighed for Lucrezia d’Alagna,
a beautiful chaste statue of ice who loved him; whereas I crave the
warm-blooded thing that is mine for the taking, but no more loves me
than she loves the policeman who salutes her on his beat. I cannot take
her. Something stronger than my passion opposes an adamantine barrier. I
love her with my soul as well as with my body, and my soul cries out for
the soul that the Almighty forgot when endowing her with entity.
This evening a letter from the Editor of The Quarterly Review. It would
give him great pleasure if I would contribute a Renaissance article,
taking as my text a German, a Russian, and an English attempt to
whitewash the Borgia family. Six months ago the compliment would have
filled me with gratification. To-day what to me are the whitewashed
Borgias or the solemn denizens of the Athenaeum reading-room who will
slumber over my account of the blameless poisonings of this amiable
family? They are vanity and vexation of a spirit already sore at ease.
As I write the door creaks. I look up. Behold Carlotta in hastily
slipped on dressing-gown, open in front, her hair streaming loose to her
waist, her bare feet flashing pink beneath her night-dress.
“Oh, Seer Marcous, darling, I am so frightened!”
She ran forward and caught the lappels of my coat as I rose from my
chair.
“What is the matter?”
“There is a mouse in my bed.”
Polyphemus saved the situation by jumping from the sofa and rubbing his
back against her feet.
“Take the cat and tell him to kill it,” said I, “and go back to bed at
once.”
I must have spoken roughly, for she regarded me with her great eyes full
of innocent reproach.
“There, take up the cat and go,” I repeated. “You mustn’t come down here
looking like that.”
“I thought I looked very pretty,” said Carlotta, moving a step nearer.
I sat down at my writing-table and fixed my eyes on my paper.
“You are like a Houri that has been sent away from Paradise for
misbehaviour,” I said.
She laughed her curious cooing laugh.
“_Hou!_ Seer Marcous is shocked!” And she ran, away, rubbing
Polyphemus’s nose against her face.