“My angels hadn’t got wings,” said Carlotta, seriously. “They all wore
dressing-gowns. They were real angels. And the one that was most like
you brought my baby in his arms for me to kiss; and when he put it on a
white cloud to sleep, and took me up in his arms instead and carried me
away, away, away through the air, I didn’t cry at leaving baby. Wasn’t
that funny? I snuggled up close to him--like that”--she illustrated the
action of “snuggling” beneath the bed-clothes--“and it was so comfy.”
The pale sunshine of a fine February morning filtered into the room from
behind the curtains. I turned off the dimmed electric lamp and let full
daylight into the room.
“Oh!” cried Carlotta, turning to the window, “how lovely the good
sun is! It is more like heaven than ever. Do you know,” she added,
mysteriously, “just before I woke it was all dark, and I had lost my
angels and I was looking for them.”
I counselled her sagely to look for no more members of the Hierarchy _en
deshabille_, but to content herself with the humbler denizens of this
planet. She pressed my hand.
“I’ll try to be contented, Seer Marcous, darling.”
She did her best, poor child, when I was by; but I heard that often she
would sit by a little pile of garments and take them up one by one and
cry her heart out--so that though she quickly recovered, her cheeks
remained wan and drawn, and pain lingered in her eyes. The weather
changed to fog and damp and she spent the days crouching by the fire,
sometimes not stirring a muscle for an hour together. Her favourite seat
was the fender-stool in the drawing-room. Her own boudoir downstairs,
where she used to receive instruction from the excellent Miss Griggs,
she scarcely entered.
She broke one of these fits suddenly and called me by her own pet
version of my name. I looked up from the writing-table where I was
studying the Arabic grammar.
“Yes?”
“I have been thinking--oh, thinking, thinking so long. I’ve been
thinking that you must love me very much.”
“Yes, Carlotta,” said I, with a half smile. “I suppose I do.”
“As much as I loved my baby,” she said, seriously,
“I used to love you in a different way, perhaps.”
“And now?”
“Perhaps in the same sort of way, Carlotta.”
“I loved my baby because it was mine,” she remarked, looking at the
flames through one hand’s delicate fingers. “I wanted to do everything
for him and didn’t want him to do anything for me. I would have died
for him. It is so strange. Yes, I think you must love me like that, Seer
Marcous. Why?”
“Because when I found you in the Embankment Gardens nearly two years
ago you were about as helpless as your little baby,” I replied, somewhat
disingenuously.
Carlotta gave me a quick glance.
“You thought me then what you call an infernal nuisance. Oh, I know now.
I have grown wise. But you were always good. You looked good when you
sat on the seat. You were reading a dirty little book.”
“_L’Histoire des Uscoques,_” I murmured. How far away it seemed.