From the shaft of fierce sunshine on the wall to his right, he gathered
that spring had passed into early summer. The outside world was a-riot
in the new life of wild flowers and trees and birds and human hopes and
loves. Outside that prison of his—a whitewashed wall, a screen, a
window behind his head reaching sky-high—spread this world with whose
pulsations his heart had ever throbbed in unison. God! How he had loved
it! Every leaf, every crested wave, every patch of sand, every stretch
of heat, every rusty horse grazing on a common, every child before a
cottage door, every vibrating sound or sight of great cities, every
waste in regions of grand desolation, every man with sinews or with
purpose in his eyes, every woman parading the mystery of her sex, from
the tow-haired, dirt-encrusted goose-girl of a Russian village to the
wonder of ever inscrutable wonders that was Olivia.
In all his dreams he inevitably came back to Olivia. Indeed she was the
centripetal force of his longings. All that earth held of the rustle of
leaves and the murmur of waters, the magic of dawn and the roar of town
multitudes and the laughter of green forests and the silence of frozen
steppes, were incorporated in the woman of his adoration. Through her
spoke the voices of the infinite universe. And all that was visible of
it, the patch of sunlight on the whitewashed wall, said:
“She lives and I, a reflected glory of her, live too; but even if you go
hence I shall only appear mockingly before you, on prison walls, until
you are dead. And you will never find me on the blue seas or the joyous
roads or the stone-bounded, clattering haunts of mankind, other than a
meaningless mirage, because the inspired meaning of it all which is
Olivia, has passed from you for evermore.”
“Damn you,” said he, and turned away his head, for he could not turn his
plaster of Paris encased body, and shut out the white line from his
burning eyes.
The next morning Myra came. He had been prepared for her visit. She sat
on the cane-bottomed chair by his bedside. As soon as the nurse left
them together:
“I’m glad you are better, Sir,” she said.
“Have you brought me any message from Mrs. Triona?” he asked.
She looked at him steadily. “You don’t suppose Mrs. Triona knows you are
here?”
It was some time before he could appreciate the meaning of her words.
“She thinks I’m in Poland?”
“She doesn’t know you are here,” said Myra truthfully. “She doesn’t know
where you are.”
“Or care?”
“Or care,” said Myra, and her tone was flat like that of a Fate.
For a while he was silent, accepting the finality of Myra’s words.
“You’ve left her in ignorance of my accident?”
“Yes,” said Myra. “Haven’t you done the same since you’ve recovered your
wits?”