Once or twice she had a postcard from Martin in the Argonne. She cursed
herself, her destiny and her sex. If only she was a man she would at
least have gone forth with a gun on her shoulder. But she was a woman;
the most helpless thing in women God ever made. Even her mother, whom
she had rated low on account of intellectual short-comings, she began to
envy. At any rate she had generously performed her woman’s duty. She had
brought forth ten children, five men children, two of whom had rushed to
take up arms in defence of their country. Martin’s last postcard had
told Corinna of Bigourdin being called away to fight. In her enforced
isolation from the great events of the great world she became acutely
conscious that in all the great world only one individual had ever found
a use for her. A flash of such knowledge either scorches or illuminates
the soul.
Then early in November she received a misspelt letter laboriously
written in hard pencil on thin, glazed paper. It was addressed from a
hospital in the North of France.
Mademoiselle Corinna:
I have done my best to strike a blow for my beloved country. It
was written that I should do so, and it was written perhaps that
I should give my life for her. I am dictating these words to my
bedside neighbour who is wounded in the knee. For my part, a
German bullet has penetrated my lung, and the doctors say I may
not live. But while I still can speak, I am anxious to tell you
that on the battlefield your image has always been before my
eyes and that I always have in my heart a love for you tender
and devoted. Should I live, Mademoiselle, I pray you to forget
this letter, as I do not wish to cause you pain. But should I
die, let me now have the consolation of believing that I shall
have a place in your thoughts as one who has died, not
unworthily or unwillingly, in a noble cause.
Gaspard-Marie Bigourdin.
Corinna sat for a long time, frozen to her soul, looking out of her
bedroom window at the hopeless autumn drizzle, and the sodden leaves on
the paths of the vicarage garden. Then, with quivering lips, she sat
down at the rickety little desk that had been hers since childhood and
wrote to Bigourdin. She sealed it and went out in the rain and dropped
it in the nearest pillar box. When she reached her room again, the
realisation of the inadequacy of her words smote her. She threw herself
on her bed and sobbed. After which she wrote her wild letter to Félise.
For the next few days a chastened Corinna went about the Vicarage. An
unusual gentleness manifested itself in her demeanour, and at last
emboldened Mrs. Hastings, good, kind soul, to take the unprecedented
step of enquiring into her wayward and sharp-tongued daughter’s private
affairs.
“I’m afraid, dearie, that letter you had from France contained bad
news.”
“Yes, mother,” said Corinna, with a sigh.