If she had remained at home that afternoon and continued to practise
insensibility, she would probably have followed the line of least
resistance during the evening. Or, on the other hand, if she could
have been alone, a night's fevered sleeplessness would have caused dull
reaction in the morning. The cold contempt for things outside her, which
had served for strength, was now gone, leaving a helpless woman to be
swayed by passion or led spiritless by convention. The heroic in her
needed the double spur. Passion shook her; miserable bondage, claiming
her, drove her to rebellion. She rose to sublime heights, undreamed of
in her earth-bound philosophy.
She had gone into the street after her interview with Jimmie, white,
palpitating, torn. Though the man had spoken tremulous words, it was
the unspoken, the wave of longing and all unspeakable things in whose
heaving bosom they had been caught, that mattered. The Garden of
Enchantment had thrown wide its gates; she had been admitted within its
infinitely reaching vistas, and flowers of the spirit had bared their
hearts before her eyes. Dressing, she strove to kill the memory,
to deafen her ears to the haunting music, to clear her brain of the
intoxication. A thing hardly a woman, hardly a coherent entity, but half
marble, half-consuming fire, stood before Morland, as he clasped the
pearl necklace around her throat. The touch of it against her skin
caused a shudder. Up to then sensation had blotted out thought. But now
the brain worked with startling lucidity. There was yet time to escape
from the thraldom. The Idea gathered strength from every word and
incident during the meal. The commonness, sordidness, emptiness of the
life behind and around and before her were revealed in the unpitying
searchlight of an awakened soul.