“My dearest, you must n't say things like that.” He repeated the words,
“You mustn't say things like that.” Then he was conscious of the warm
softness on which his hand rested. She raised her arm and touched his
fingers. It was a moment of deep temptation. He resisted, drew his hand
away gently.
“There is another reason why it cannot be,” he said. “You belong to
a world of wealth and luxury, I have been in poverty all my life. God
forbid I should complain. I have never done so. But it is a life of
struggle for daily bread. Aline and I are used to it. We laugh. We often
dine with Duke Humphrey. We make believe like the marchioness. What the
discipline of life and a sort of gipsy faith in Providence have made
us regard as a jest, would be to you a sordid shift, an intolerable
ugliness stripping life of its beauty--”
“Oh, hush!” she pleaded.
“No, I must talk and you must listen,” he said with a certain masterful
dignity. “Look at you now, in the exquisite loveliness of your dress,
with that diamond star in your hair, with that queenly presence of
yours. Do you fit in with all this? Your place is in great houses, among
historic pictures, rare carpets, furniture that is invested with the
charm of an artist's touch. The chair you are sitting in--the leather
is split and the springs are broken.” He was walking now backwards
and forwards across the studio, fulfilling his task bravely, scarcely
trusting himself to look at her. “Your place,” he continued, “is among
the great ones of the earth--princes, ambassadors, men of genius. Here
are but the little folk: even should they come, as they used to do:
homely men with rough ways and their wives--sweet simple women with a
baby and a frock a year, God help them! I can't ask you to share this
life with me, my dear. I should be a scoundrel if I did. As it is, I
have fallen below myself in letting you know that I love you. You must
forgive me. A man is, after all, a man, whether he be beggar or prince.
You must go back into your world and forget it all. The passion-flower
cannot thrive in the hedge with the dog-rose, my dearest. It will pine
and fade. We must end it all. Don't you see? You don't know what poverty
means. Even decent poverty like ours. Look--the men you know have valets
to dress them--when you came Aline was sewing new cuffs on my shirts. I
don't suppose you ever knew that such things were done. Mere existence
is a matter of ever anxious detail. I am a careless fellow, I am a
selfish brute, like most men, and give over to the women folk around me
the thousand harassing considerations of ways and means for every day in
every year. But I see more than they think. Aline can tell you. I dare
n't, my dear, ask you to share this life with me. I dare n't, I dare
n't.”
He came to a stop in front of her; saw her leaning over the arm of the
chair away from him, her face covered by her hands. Her white shoulders
twitched in little convulsive movements.