The New Machiavelli — Niccolo Machiavelli — John Shaqi
The New Machiavelli
Niccolo Machiavelli · en
“Husband,” she said abruptly, holding her two hands out to me, “I want
to begin over again!”
I took her hands, perplexed beyond measure. “My dear!” I said.
“I want to begin over again.”
I bowed my head to hide my face, and found her hand in mine and kissed
it.
“Ah!” she said, and slowly withdrew her hand. She leant forward with her
arm on the sofa-back, and looked very intently into my face. I felt the
most damnable scoundrel in the world as I returned her gaze. The thought
of Isabel's darkly shining eyes seemed like a physical presence between
us....
“Tell me,” I said presently, to break the intolerable tension, “tell me
plainly what you mean by this.”
I sat a little away from her, and then took my teacup in hand, with an
odd effect of defending myself. “Have you been reading that old book of
mine?” I asked.
“That and the paper. I took a complete set from the beginning down
to Durham with me. I have read it over, thought it over. I didn't
understand--what you were teaching.”
There was a little pause.
“It all seems so plain to me now,” she said, “and so true.”
I was profoundly disconcerted. I put down my teacup, stood up in the
middle of the hearthrug, and began talking. “I'm tremendously glad,
Margaret, that you've come to see I'm not altogether perverse,” I began.
I launched out into a rather trite and windy exposition of my views, and
she sat close to me on the sofa, looking up into my face, hanging on my
words, a deliberate and invincible convert.
“Yes,” she said, “yes.”...
I had never doubted my new conceptions before; now I doubted them
profoundly. But I went on talking. It's the grim irony in the lives of
all politicians, writers, public teachers, that once the audience is at
their feet, a new loyalty has gripped them. It isn't their business to
admit doubt and imperfections. They have to go on talking. And I was
now so accustomed to Isabel's vivid interruptions, qualifications,
restatements, and confirmations....
Margaret and I dined together at home. She made me open out my political
projects to her. “I have been foolish,” she said. “I want to help.”
And by some excuse I have forgotten she made me come to her room. I
think it was some book I had to take her, some American book I had
brought back with me, and mentioned in our talk. I walked in with it,
and put it down on the table and turned to go.
“Husband!” she cried, and held out her slender arms to me. I was
compelled to go to her and kiss her, and she twined them softly about my
neck and drew me to her and kissed me. I disentangled them very gently,
and took each wrist and kissed it, and the backs of her hands.
“Good-night,” I said. There came a little pause. “Good-night, Margaret,”
I repeated, and walked very deliberately and with a kind of sham
preoccupation to the door.
I did not look at her, but I could feel her standing, watching me. If I
had looked up, she would, I knew, have held out her arms to me....