“You helping. I don't want to shatter it--if you don't want it
shattered. I can't leave my work. I can't leave you. I want you to
have--all that you have ever had. I've never meant to rob you. I've made
an immense and tragic blunder. You don't know how things took us, how
different they seemed! My character and accident have conspired--We'll
pay--in ourselves, not in our public service.”
I halted again. Margaret remained very still.
“I want you to understand that the thing is at an end. It is definitely
at an end. We--we talked--yesterday. We mean to end it altogether.” I
clenched my hands. “She's--she's going to marry Arnold Shoesmith.”
I wasn't looking now at Margaret any more, but I heard the rustle of her
movement as she turned on me.
“It's all right,” I said, clinging to my explanation. “We're doing
nothing shabby. He knows. He will. It's all as right--as things can
be now. We're not cheating any one, Margaret. We're doing things
straight--now. Of course, you know.... We shall--we shall have to make
sacrifices. Give things up pretty completely. Very completely.... We
shall have not to see each other for a time, you know. Perhaps not a
long time. Two or three years. Or write--or just any of that sort of
thing ever--”
Some subconscious barrier gave way in me. I found myself crying
uncontrollably--as I have never cried since I was a little child. I was
amazed and horrified at myself. And wonderfully, Margaret was on her
knees beside me, with her arms about me, mingling her weeping with mine.
“Oh, my Husband!” she cried, “my poor Husband! Does it hurt you so? I
would do anything! Oh, the fool I am! Dear, I love you. I love you over
and away and above all these jealous little things!”
She drew down my head to her as a mother might draw down the head of
a son. She caressed me, weeping bitterly with me. “Oh! my dear,” she
sobbed, “my dear! I've never seen you cry! I've never seen you cry.
Ever! I didn't know you could. Oh! my dear! Can't you have her, my dear,
if you want her? I can't bear it! Let me help you, dear. Oh! my Husband!
My Man! I can't bear to have you cry!” For a time she held me in
silence.
“I've thought this might happen, I dreamt it might happen. You two, I
mean. It was dreaming put it into my head. When I've seen you together,
so glad with each other.... Oh! Husband mine, believe me! believe me!
I'm stupid, I'm cold, I'm only beginning to realise how stupid and cold,
but all I want in all the world is to give my life to you.”...
6
“We can't part in a room,” said Isabel.