“Better, I think. Let's play it's better--anyhow. It may be that talking
over was rather mixed with love-making. After all, love-making is joy
rather than magic. Don't let's pretend about that even.... Let's go on
watching him. (I don't see why her writing shouldn't be better. Indeed I
don't.) See! There he goes down along the Embankment to Westminster just
like a real man, for all that he's smaller than a grain of dust. What is
running round inside that speck of a head of his? Look at him going past
the Policemen, specks too--selected large ones from the country. I think
he's going to dinner with the Speaker--some old thing like that. Is his
face harder or commoner or stronger?--I can't quite see.... And now he's
up and speaking in the House. Hope he'll hold on to the thread. He'll
have to plan his speeches to the very end of his days--and learn the
headings.”
“Isn't she up in the women's gallery to hear him?”
“No. Unless it's by accident.”
“She's there,” she said.
“Well, by accident it happens. Not too many accidents, Isabel. Never any
more adventures for us, dear, now. No!... They play the game, you know.
They've begun late, but now they've got to. You see it's not so
very hard for them since you and I, my dear, are here always, always
faithfully here on this warm cliff of love accomplished, watching and
helping them under high heaven. It isn't so VERY hard. Rather good in
some ways. Some people HAVE to be broken a little. Can you see Altiora
down there, by any chance?”
“She's too little to be seen,” she said.
“Can you see the sins they once committed?”
“I can only see you here beside me, dear--for ever. For all my life,
dear, till I die. Was that--the sin?”...
I took her to the station, and after she had gone I was to drive to
Dover, and cross to Calais by the night boat. I couldn't, I felt, return
to London. We walked over the crest and down to the little station of
Martin Mill side by side, talking at first in broken fragments, for the
most part of unimportant things.
“None of this,” she said abruptly, “seems in the slightest degree real
to me. I've got no sense of things ending.”
“We're parting,” I said.
“We're parting--as people part in a play. It's distressing. But I don't
feel as though you and I were really never to see each other again for
years. Do you?”
I thought. “No,” I said.
“After we've parted I shall look to talk it over with you.”
“So shall I.”
“That's absurd.”
“Absurd.”
“I feel as if you'd always be there, just about where you are now.
Invisible perhaps, but there. We've spent so much of our lives joggling
elbows.”...
“Yes. Yes. I don't in the least realise it. I suppose I shall begin to
when the train goes out of the station. Are we wanting in imagination,
Isabel?”
“I don't know. We've always assumed it was the other way about.”
“Even when the train goes out of the station--! I've seen you into so
many trains.”