English Conferences of Ernest Renan: Rome and Christianity. Marcus Aurelius
Marcus Aurelius · en
Northumbria, in the assembly where the question was discussed concerning
the adoption of the doctrine of the Roman missionaries.
"Perhaps thou rememberest, O king! something which happens sometimes in
the winter days, when thou art seated at table with thy captains and thy
men-at-arms; that a good fire is lighted, that thy chamber is very warm,
while it rains, snows, and blows without. There comes a little bird,
which crosses the chamber on the wing, entering at one door, and going
out by the other. The moment of this passage is full of sweetness for
him: he no more feels the rain nor the storm. The bird is gone in an
instant, and from the winter he passes again into the winter. Such seems
to me the life of men on this earth, and its course of a moment,
compared to the length of time which precedes and follows it. The time
before birth and after death is gloomy. It torments us by its
impossibility of comprehension: if, then, the new doctrine can teach us
any thing a little certain, it deserves to be considered."
Alas! the Roman missionaries did not bear this minimum of certainty,
with which the old Northumbrian chief, sage as he was, declared himself
content. Life always appears to us a short passage between two long
nights. Happy those who can sleep in the empty noise of menaces which
trouble at times the human conscience, and should no more than cradle
it! One thing is certain: it is the paternal smile which at certain
hours pierces nature, attesting that one eye regards us, and one heart
follows us. Let us guard ourselves from all absolute formula which might
become one day an obstacle to the free expansion of our spirits. There
is no religious communion which does not still possess some gifts of
life and pardon; but it is on the condition only that an humble docility
succeeds sympathetic adhesion. The comparison of the regiment, invented
by Clement Romanus, and since so many times repeated, ought to be
utterly abandoned.
You wished that I should recall to you the grandeurs of Catholicism in
its finest epoch. I thank you for it. Some associations of childhood,
the most profound of all, attach me to Catholicism; and, although I am
separated from it, I am often tempted to say, as Job said (at least in
our Latin version), "_Etiam si occideret me, in ipso sperabo._" This
great Catholic family is too numerous not to have still a grand future.
The strange excesses which it has supported during fifty years, this
unequalled pontificate of Pius IX., the most astonishing in history,
cannot be terminated in any ordinary way. There will be thunders and
lightnings such as accompany all the great judgment-days of God. And
will she have much to do in order to still remain acceptable to those
who love her,--this old mother, who will not die so soon? Perhaps she
will find, in order to arrest the arms of her conqueror, which is modern
reason, some magician's arts, some words such as Balder murmured.