CHAPTER 16 BEAUCOUP ZIGZAG —1— In Tours another letter came from Leon. That man was likely to have us both hung before another month was out! What did he do now but run right into Jay-Jay, and the latter welcomed him with open arms:— “I told him he must have the wrong man, because I had never seen him before in my life, but that didn’t impress him at all. He insisted that I show him my pass and then that I accompany him. I didn’t know where he was going—I thought at first he was taking me to an M.P., but we walked past a million M.P.’s and finally ended in a dirty flat in a dirty building, and he told me to make myself at home. “We had a smoke and then he said, ‘Now, listen to me.... I know there’s a pair of twins by the name of Canwick running around loose through the A.E.F. and I’m going to find out which of them is which. One of them’s a girl, and that’s the one I want—get me?’ “I just laughed at him and repeated that ‘My name isn’t Canwick—it’s Lane.’ “‘I don’t care a damn what you say your name is: I know you two are twins and one of you is a girl.... Now, which one is it?’ “‘Pardon me, sir,’ I said, ‘but you haven’t been around where the big guns go off, have you?... I mean, is it the kind of shell-shock that makes them violent?’ “Oh, but he was mad, and the madder he got the more I laughed at him, the prime egg! “He said a lot of nasty things and finally went into another room and came out with a gun in his hand. ‘Now,’ he commands. ‘You strip!’ “I naturally indulged in laughter. This impossible affair sounded like some kind of a comic opera. “But he meant business and said so. I honestly think he’s a little bit off in the cockloft. “Fearing that he might get really careless with the firearm, I decided to humor him—so I stripped, but by the time I had removed my blouse and shirt, he was beginning to lose his confidence. I asked him if that was enough, but he insisted that I should strip. “Well, you can imagine how I felt—although it really struck me as a huge joke on him. “Instead of being disappointed, however, he seemed to be reassured for he said, ‘I knew it! I knew that sergeant was her.... I should have known as soon as I saw her with that Captain....’ “I stopped in my dressing to laugh at him—which made him mad again. ‘Your sister will laugh, too!’ he stormed at me. ‘She thinks she’s pretty wise, but she’s not fooling me again!... And I can make it rather pleasant for that Captain, too!’ The son-of-a-gun actually smiled. He surely thinks he’s going to do something wonderful for somebody—and I don’t think it’s you.