A Maid and a Million Men: the candid confessions of Leona Canwick, censored indiscreetly by James G. Dunton
John Stuart Mill · en
“Oh—nothing much,” he replied with that wise smile that I hated.
“Little enough to ask in return for my silence.”
“You’re crazy, Jay-Jay. Honestly, are you shell-shocked or something?”
“Not crazy at all.... I just don’t like these French women, that’s
all.... And since you are obliging the Captain you may as well oblige
me: do your duty by your country, you know....”
I was furious. I was so mad my mouth chattered and I couldn’t speak at
all. If I knew how to hit a man real hard, I’d have killed him on the
spot.... The dirty rotten bum!
He knew I was mad, and he, too, lost his temper. “No more evasions or
beating around the bush!” he declared. “Are you or are you not coming
with me?”
I saw a taxi coming slowly along the street, apparently looking for a
fare. I decided to make a break.
“I’ll call an M.P. and have you taken in, if you don’t come,” he was
saying.
There was an M.P. not more than a hundred yards away. I couldn’t wait
any longer. I drew back and spit in his face as an answer and ducked
into the street just in time to get on the running board of the taxi as
Jay-Jay called to the M.P. and they started in pursuit.
A few minutes later I landed at the Captain’s and rushed into his
room.... And what happened after that can best be told from another
point of view.
* * * * *
About five minutes later Jay-Jay appeared at the Captain’s door with an
M.P. behind him.
“What’s on your mind?” inquired the Captain pleasantly, looking up from
the table on which he was playing rummy with Sergeant Canwick.
“That girl is under arrest,” spluttered Jay-Jay, marching up to the
sergeant and seizing his shoulder.
“What girl?” demanded the Captain, in surprise.
“This girl!” retorted Jay-Jay. “We saw her come up here. She’s the one
we’re after.”
“Just a minute.... Just a minute, Lieutenant,” the Captain crooned,
getting up from his chair and walking around the table. He grasped the
hand that held Sergeant Canwick’s shoulder and the hand was removed
instantly. “Now ... if you will explain this intrusion in some sensible
manner, I will listen. The sergeant happens to be a friend of mine and I
feel certain that he has not broken any rules or regulations.... Now,
what’s on your mind?”
“Don’t make me laugh, Captain,” replied Jay-Jay with a snarl. “I hate to
spoil your little fun.... I believe I could mention a few violations on
your own part, if it becomes necessary.”
The Captain laughed. “I pay for the wine I drink, Lieutenant.” Then he
turned to the M.P. and asked, in a pleasant voice, “Can you tell me what
you’re looking for?”
“Don’t know anything about it, sir,” replied the M.P. “The Lieutenant
called me to help chase a man who hopped a taxi and came here. That’s
all I know about it, sir.”
“Is this the man?” asked the Captain, indicating the sergeant.
“Can’t prove it by me, sir,” replied the M.P. “All I saw was his back.”