A Maid and a Million Men: the candid confessions of Leona Canwick, censored indiscreetly by James G. Dunton
John Stuart Mill · en
He went to his trunk and returned quickly with a letter, addressed to
him in handwriting that looked very much like Leona Canwick’s and
postmarked New York. “Would you like to see the signature also,
Lieutenant?” he asked, flipping over the page to show the end of the
letter. “Are you convinced now? Do you believe me?”
Jay-Jay didn’t reply at once, but finally he said boldly, “There’s only
one way you can convince me: let the sergeant strip right here and now.”
“You are insulting,” declared the Captain. “That’s a hell of a thing to
ask any man to do—regardless of what you think.”
“There you are!” taunted the other. “If he has nothing to fear, why
should he mind undressing?... He’ll undress here or come to police
headquarters and do it—I can promise you that!”
“You aren’t making any threats, are you, Lieutenant?” the Captain
inquired mildly.
“I’m making nothing!” stormed Jay-Jay. “This nonsense has gone far
enough, sir.... I insist that Sergeant Canwick strip, either here and
now or at police headquarters. Which will it be?”
“Sergeant,” said the Captain, “do you mind humoring this lunatic?” But
before the sergeant could answer, he continued, “No—as you say,
Lieutenant, this nonsense has gone far—so far, indeed, that I insist
that we go further, go the limit.... We will go to police headquarters
at once.”
While he put on his tunic, Jay-Jay walked around the room and even
contrived to steal a glance into the adjoining bedroom. “Would you like
to see if I have anything concealed up my sleeves, Lieutenant?” inquired
the Captain humorously. He took off his cap shook it violently. “You
see, nothing in the hat.... Shall I empty my pockets for your scrutiny?”
He was not very gentle in shoving the visitors through the door—and the
party set off for police headquarters.
Arrived there, Captain Winstead insisted upon seeing the Provost
Marshal, and when that officer appeared, shook hands with him and
briefly explained the purpose of the visit. The provost smiled and led
them into his office, where he asked Jay-Jay for an explanation of his
attitude and his reasons for wanting the sergeant arrested. The whole
matter was threshed over again and finally the provost turned to the
sergeant and asked him if he had anything to say on the matter.
“Not a thing, sir,” replied the sergeant, “except that this man has been
hounding me at every opportunity, even going so far as to try to tear my
clothes off me.”
“Where was that?” inquired the provost.
“In Tours.”
“And does General Backett know about this?”
“No, sir—I didn’t need to tell him. The General’s chauffeur came along
and knocked the Lieutenant into the street.”
Jay-Jay flushed to the roots of his hair.