A Maid and a Million Men: the candid confessions of Leona Canwick, censored indiscreetly by James G. Dunton
John Stuart Mill · en
Big things were in the wind. Everyone there in Paris had the spirit of
victory now. No more pessimism. No more kicks and complaints and passing
the buck. Allied hopes were running strong at last and it looked as if
the Germans were on the run. The Allied armies were driving ahead
relentlessly from the Rhine to the sea. It was just as if the
proverbially slow grinding mills of the gods were at last beginning to
grind into the promised and inevitable dust the selfish ambitions of
that predatory Prussian gang.... All about us was activity and renewed
enthusiasm. A new spirit seemed to permeate the atmosphere of the French
capital, and even the General was moved to comment upon it.
“It looks as if the fireworks would end without our getting even a
glimpse of them!” he said regretfully. “God knows I want the business
over, but I’m going to get up there where the action is just once, for
at least one glimpse, if I die in the attempt!”
I didn’t know what we could be doing up there, but I was just as curious
to see it at first-hand as the General was. It wouldn’t make me mad if
he managed to go up.... Which reminded me that Leon was up there
somewhere. I hadn’t heard from him. Didn’t know where he was. Wouldn’t
know if he were dead. If anything happened to him, I’d be in a beautiful
mess, to be sure!
Yet, somehow, for some unaccountable reason, I just couldn’t picture
Leon getting himself killed. I couldn’t imagine him in any field of
danger, regardless of the great change that had come over him. My memory
of the old Leon was too keen to permit me to worry much about him
throwing his life away. So I wasn’t reading the casualty lists very
anxiously. I did wonder sometimes if he was in danger and if he’d found
it possible to obey the admonition that was the motif of that marching
song he so hated: I mean the one about “Keep Your Britches Dry.”
I’d ceased to worry about him, though. What I wanted now was to get
married—and how! The Captain was a changed man: honestly, I hardly knew
him, he was so different. No more wild parties. No more women. No more
anything, but me. He had managed to get the soldier part out of his head
and now he thought of me only as a girl. He called me Canwick when Ben
or anyone else was around, but the minute we were alone it was “Leona”
this and “Leona” that. If he had called me Canwick or Sergeant then, I’d
have passed out from the shock: I mean, if nobody was around. We sure
were a funny Damon-Pythias combination, and I’ll bet there was more than
one man in this man’s army making dirty cracks about us behind our
backs.