A Maid and a Million Men: the candid confessions of Leona Canwick, censored indiscreetly by James G. Dunton
John Stuart Mill · en
The Captain paid for the drinks and Ben pocketed the twenty francs, only
to pull it out again immediately to order something else. “And say, you
guys!” he says, while the garçon is serving us. “Did ya ever see me
stick pins and needles through my jaws?” Whereupon he pulls a sewing kit
from his pocket, takes half a dozen pins and jams them through his
cheek. Then he stuck three needles through the other cheek. And he
opened his mouth and let out a roar that shook the house. He looked
fantastic, with his cheeks puffed out and the gleaming pins and needles
sticking out from them.... At last, I said to myself, he’s getting
drunk!
It was almost closing time now and I decided to make a last break for
freedom from the big monkey wrench. I sent him to the bar for a bottle
of wine, then I seized Clark’s hand and literally dragged him off his
seat and out the door.
But it was no go. Ben saw us and followed, bellowing like a million
giants. On the pavement he caught up with us and demanded, “Where ya
goin’? What’s the rush?... Christ A’mighty, anybody’d think you two had
somethin’ to do ’sides paint this ole burg red, white and blue!... Now I
suggest that we go visitin’ in some nice ladies’ parlors, mes amis!” And
then he started to sing: “Bon soir, ma chère,” etc., in that rattling,
growling, devastating howl of his.
Then he wanted us to have a drink of his own private concoction, a
bottle of which he produced from his pocket. The Captain had to drink
with him. Once more. Again. Clark was acting rather dizzy on his feet,
but he managed to inquire, “My God, Ben, what is that—liquid dynamite?”