A Maid and a Million Men: the candid confessions of Leona Canwick, censored indiscreetly by James G. Dunton
John Stuart Mill · en
As he departed up the ladder, a Limey who slept just outside our door
spoke up and said, “Aw, the Chaplain’s a blowey bloke hany’ow an’ oo in
’ell ’ankers hafter ’earin’ habout ’eaven ’ere?” He was positively
disgusted and I assumed that he had lost money in the game.
Personally I was glad the Chaplain did break up the game, because
otherwise, Ben probably would have stuck around there until he’d lost
all our winnings—and fifty dollars felt pretty good to me just then.
So, as Ben said, I had become a crap-shooting fool! Lord, if Auntie
could see me now! I was wringing wet that minute from living in this
hole of agony. That bath couldn’t be put off another day. ’Twas better
to have laved and lost all than never to have laved at all. That’s how I
looked at this matter, and barring a sub-scare or a torpedo, I’d be a
clean woman to-morrow. Thank God!
CHAPTER 7
A DOG’S LIFE
—1—
We had been eight days on this deep blue sea and our convoy hadn’t
appeared yet. The General said we’d probably pick them up to-morrow or
next day and in another couple days we’d be wherever we were going.
Nobody knew where that would be, not even the Captain, but probably
either Brest, St. Nazaire or Bordeaux, since those were the three ports
that were taken over by the American Expeditionary Forces. No one could
be sure, though: we might end at Le Havre or in England. This was a hell
of a war: we were just like a shipload of freight: we don’t know where
we’re going but we’re on our way!
However, I felt much better now, regardless of the monotony and the
suspense, for at last I did the impossible and escaped without being
suspected. It was an experience!
Just around the corner from the General’s stateroom was a lavatory and
bath with a sign on the door reading FOR OFFICERS ONLY. (Which was
rather brazenly ironic, because there was an old sign on the door,
reading GENTLEMEN, and this hadn’t been removed, the black letters had
only been painted over: anyone might observe that Officers weren’t
gentlemen or the old sign would have been good enough for present
purposes.) Even the General smiled at it.
However, I had decided several days previous to investigate this special
domain of the favored, and I found it much more to my liking than the
enlisted men’s “head.” There were only two or three enlisted men who
were very much around that section of the deck, so no one objected to my
going in there, since the officers who used the place knew that I was
General Backett’s dog-robber. Thus I was able to avoid visiting the more
embarrassingly un-private “heads” which the enlisted men were supposed
to use: the nearest one to General Backett’s stateroom was on the deck
below—very inconvenient for a busy individual like me. And besides,
there were doors on the boxes: which helped a lot in the matter of
privacy, I must say.