A Maid and a Million Men: the candid confessions of Leona Canwick, censored indiscreetly by James G. Dunton
John Stuart Mill · en
Ben just laughed then. “Don’t you know, Leony, that sometimes it takes
nine or ten days for it to show up? That’s why they waited until now to
have this thing, because they figure that if a guy ain’t got nothin’
wrong with him now, he won’t have unless he gets something from one o’
these passionate mademoiselles.”
I must have looked pretty scared, for he asked, “What the hell’s the
matter with you?”
“Oh, nothing,” I replied, catching up my slipping nerves. “That stuff
doesn’t worry me any. I just haven’t got time to chase up there to the
sick-bay.”
“Well, you might’s well go and get it over with,” he advised.
But I didn’t. I beat it right back to the General’s and believe me I
managed to keep myself busy there all afternoon and part of the evening.
But I didn’t know what was going to happen. The top-kicker later came
around and said, “I’ve been looking all over for you, Canwick. You’re
the only one the Doc hasn’t seen, so to-morrow morning, I’ll take you
up.”
Well, I was racking my brains, but if the morrow didn’t bring forth any
more than my brains had so far, then somebody was in line for a
scandalous surprise to-morrow morning.
God, why did I ever get into such a mess! If I wasn’t sure that they’d
pull me out, I’d have gone over the side straight. The way I felt then,
I’d rather have died than be discovered. It was awful!
—6—
I found it necessary to hide out the following day: when I wasn’t with
the General I managed to find other places to go—any place except the
hole. And of course I was worried sick all day, and even then I wasn’t
sure whether I’d escaped or just delayed again the inevitable moment of
detection. This suspense certainly was hard on a girl’s nerves.
When I came in at night, Ben welcomed me with, “Well, Leony, you can
thank me fer savin’ yer stars this time.”
“Why?” I inquired, at a loss to know what he was talking about.
“The top-kick’s been in here a dozen times lookin’ fer you, and every
time I said you were busy as hell with the Gen.”
“Well—I have been,” I agreed.
“And I suppose you forgot all about that doctor that’s been waitin’
specially to meet ya?” he suggested with a smile.
“No—I didn’t,” I declared. “But I just haven’t had time to chase after
any doctors. I don’t need a doctor for anything anyway!”
“You don’t, eh?” He laughed. “Don’t kid me any more, buddy. I’m yer
friend anyway.”
I began to wonder just what this big galoot had in his head. Did he
suspect that I was avoiding the doctor. Apparently he did. What did he
think my reason for this? Had he somehow become suspicious of my sex?
All at once I felt panicky—actually like running away.
He continued to chew and spit, while I looked at him stupidly, trying to
divine his thoughts. Finally he said, “You’re the last man in the world
I’d think it of.”
“Think what of? What the hell are you talking about?”