In some strange indefinable way she felt herself of a different clay
from the rest of Miss Skimmers’ pupils, and held herself aloof from
them. And they felt it, too, and hated her for it, hardly knowing
why--only that she always reminded them of a rose in a bed of
dandelions, and, try as they would to remember that the dandelions
were gifted with the hue of gold, they could not forget that they were
little, undersized, glaring, stiff-stalked, piggish, close-to-the-earth
things and that the rose was always the rose, and that it was nature’s
law that it should hold its head above them and be a nobler flower than
they.
For a time, the knowledge that she had a mother somewhere in the world
filled Dora with a sense of a joy that was sufficient in itself, and
she used to lie awake nights and dream of the time when that wonderful
mother would come and take her away, or perhaps call in the mid-term
just to see her, as the other girls’ mothers sometimes did. But as the
weeks and the months and the years rolled by and brought no realization
of the dream, it died slowly down into the dead level of her daily life
and was forgotten entirely--or if not actually forgotten, at least
laid away, as children lay away the fables and the fairy tales of the
nursery when they have grown too old to believe in them as possible
things.
“There wasn’t any truth in it; it was all a ‘make-believe’ of Miss
Skimmers, and I haven’t any mother at all,” she said to herself
whenever the phantom of that dead hope came back to haunt her. “If
I had, she would not have left me so utterly alone for all these
years--it isn’t human. She will never come--I know it now--because she
doesn’t exist. I seem fated to pass my life enduring the cold insolence
of brewers’ daughters, like Gwen Morley, and the sneers of people like
Miss Skimmers. I won’t, however. I’ll get out of it all, as soon as I
am old enough to go away, and I’ll earn my living and make a place for
myself in the world, somehow.”
That had been her determination months and months ago, she was thinking
of it now as she sat, a dreary, shabby, spiritless figure, in the
grounds of Miss Skimmers’ “School for Young Ladies,” and watched the
tennis balls fly to and fro through the hot, still air of the summer
afternoon.
The hot sun beating down upon her made her head ache, and the glare
of the white dresses of the tennis players hurt her eyes; even the
whistling of a thrush in a near-by tree seemed to irritate her to-day,
and the loud laughter of the girls was positively maddening. But she
kept on with the distasteful task of umpiring the match, and said never
a word, until suddenly a shadow lengthened across the grass, fell upon
her score book, and made her look up. Then she saw that one of the
housemaids was standing beside her, and became conscious that the girl
was saying something to her.