She sometimes hinted at things, those real unknown things that were her own life unshared by anybody; in a low soft terrible broken voice, with eyes dilated and quivering lips; quite suddenly, with hardly any words. And she would speak passionately about the sea, how she hated it and could not look at it or listen to it; and of woods, the horror of woods, the trees and the shadowiness, making her crisp her hands--ah yes, _les mains crispées_, that was the word; and she had laughed when it was explained to her. It was not that she had troubles at home. Those things she seemed to find odd and amusing, like a story of the life of some other person--poverty and one of her sisters ‘very peculiar,’ another engaged to a scamp and another going to be a shop-assistant, and two more, ‘doties’ very young, being brought up in the country with an aunt. Everything that happened to people and all the things people did seemed to her funny and amusing, “tickled her to death.” Harriett’s engagement amused her really, though she pretended to be immensely interested and asked numbers of questions in a rich deep awe-struck voice ... blarney.... But she wanted to hear everything, and she never forgot anything she was told. And she had been splendid about the operation--really anxious, quite conscious and awake across the landing that awful night and really making you feel she was glad afterwards. “Poor Mrs. Henderson--I was never so glad in my life”--and always seeming to know her without having her explained. She was real there, and so strange in telling the Pernes about it and making it all easy. 8 Miriam leaned upon Julia more and more as the term went on, hating and fearing her for her secret sorrow and wondering and wondering why she appeared to have such a curious admiration and respect for herself. She could understand her adoration for the Pernes; she saw them as they were and had a phrase which partly explained them, “no more knowledge of the world than babes”--but what was it in herself that Julia seemed so fiercely and shyly to admire?