A resentful answer was rising to the tongue of Camilla, when she
perceived her two little sprigs, which in her recent disorder she had
dropt, were demolishing under the feet of Indiana, who, with apparent
unmeaningness, but internal suspicion of their giver, had trampled upon
them both. Hastily stooping she picked them up, and, with evident
vexation, was blowing from them the dust and dirt, when Indiana
scoffingly said, 'I wonder where you got that geranium?'
'I don't wonder at all,' said Miss Margland, 'for Sir Hugh has none of
that species; so one may easily guess.'
Camilla felt herself blush, and letting the flowers fall, turned to
Indiana, and said, 'Cousin, if on my account, it is possible you can
suffer the smallest uneasiness, tell me but what I shall do--you shall
dictate to me--you shall command me.'
Indiana disclaimed all interest in her behaviour; but Miss Margland
cried, 'What you can do, ma'am, is this, and nothing can be easier, nor
fairer: leave off paying all that court to Mr. Mandlebert, of asking his
advice, and follow your own way, whether he likes it or not, and go to
see Mrs. Arlbery, and Mrs. every body else, when you have a mind,
without waiting for his permission, or troubling yourself about what he
thinks of it.'
Camilla now trembled in every joint, and with difficulty restrained from
tears, while, timidly, she said--'And do you, my dear Indiana, demand of
me this conduct? and will it, at least, satisfy you?'
'Me? O dear no! I demand nothing, I assure you. The whole matter is
quite indifferent to me, and you may ask his leave for every thing in
the world, if you chuse it. There are people enough ready to take my
part, I hope, if you set him against me ever so much.'
'Indeed, indeed, Indiana,' said Camilla, overpowered with conflicting
sensations, 'this is using me very unkindly!' And, without waiting to
hear another word, she hurried into the house, and flew to hide herself
in her own room.
This was the first bitter moment she had ever known. Peace, gay though
uniform, had been the constant inmate of her breast, enjoyed without
thought, possessed without struggle; not the subdued gift of
accommodating philosophy, but the inborn and genial produce of youthful
felicity's best aliment, the energy of its own animal spirits.
She had, indeed, for some time past, thought Edgar, of too refined and
too susceptible a character for the unthinking and undistinguishing
Indiana; and for the last day or two, her regret at his fate had
strengthened itself into an averseness of his supposed destination, that
made the idea of it painful, and the subject repugnant to her; but she
had never, till this very morning, distrusted the innoxiousness either
of her pity or her regard; and, startled at the first surmise of danger,
she had wished to fly even from herself, rather than venture to
investigate feelings so unwelcome; yet still and invariably, she had
concluded Edgar the future husband of Indiana.