Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth
John Stuart Mill · en
Camilla again bent over the flowers; but it was not to scent their
fragrance; she sought only a hiding place for her eyes, which were
gushing with tears; and though she wished to fly a thousand miles off,
she had not courage to take a single step, nor force to trust her voice
with the shortest reply.
'You will not speak? yet you do not deny that you have some
uneasiness?--Could I give it but the smallest relief, how fortunate I
should think myself!--And is it quite impossible?--Do you forbid me to
ask what it is?--forbid me the indulgence even to suggest----'
'Ask nothing! suggest nothing! and think of it no more!' interrupted
Camilla, 'if you would not make me quite----'
She stopt suddenly, not to utter the word unhappy, of which she felt the
improper strength at the moment it was quivering on her lips, and
leaving her sentence unfinished, abruptly walked away.
Edgar could not presume to follow, yet felt her conquest irresistible.
Her self-denial with regard to Mrs. Arlbery won his highest approbation;
her compliance with his wishes convinced him of her esteem; and her
distress, so new and so unaccountable, centered every wish of his heart
in a desire to solace, and to revive her.
To obtain this privilege hastened at once and determined his measures;
he excused himself, therefore, from walking, and went instantly to his
chamber, to reclaim, by a hasty letter to Dr. Marchmont, his
procrastinating promise.
CHAPTER II
_A Pro and a Con_
With a pen flowing quick from feelings of the most generous warmth,
Edgar wrote the following letter:
_To Dr._ Marchmont.
Accuse me not of precipitance, my dear Doctor, nor believe me
capable of forgetting the wisdom of your suggestions, nor of
lightly weighing those evils with which your zeal has encompassed
me, though I write at this instant to confess a total contrariety
of sentiment, to call back every promise of delay, and to make an
unqualified avowal, that the period of caution is past! Camilla is
not happy--something, I know not what, has disturbed the gay
serenity of her bosom: she has forbid me to enquire the cause;--one
way only remains to give me a claim to her confidence.--O Doctor!
wonder not if cold, tardy, suspicious--I had nearly said unfeeling,
caution, shrinks at such a moment, from the rising influence of
warmer sympathy, which bids me sooth her in distress, shield her
from danger, strengthen all her virtues, and participate in their
emanations!