His sense of right was too just to mislead him into giving himself
similar absolution with respect to Camilla. He had never, indeed,
indulged a voluntary vent to his preference; but the candour of his
character convinced him that what so forcibly he had felt, he must
occasionally have betrayed. Yet the idea excited regret without remorse;
for though it had been his wish, as well as intention, to conceal his
best hopes, till they were ratified by his judgment, he had the
conscious integrity of knowing that, should her heart become his prize,
his dearest view in life would be to solicit her hand.
To preserve, therefore, the appearance of an undesigning friend of the
house, he had forced himself to refrain, for two days, from any visit to
the rectory, whither he was repairing, when thus, unlooked and unwished
for, he surprized Camilla at the Grove.
Disappointed and disapproving feelings kept him, while there, aloof from
her; by continual suggestions, that her character was of no stability,
that Dr. Marchmont was right in his doubts, and Miss Margland herself
not wrong in accusing her of caprice; and when he perceived, upon her
preparing to walk home with her brother and sister, that Major Cerwood
stept forward to attend her, he indignantly resolved to arrange without
delay his continental excursion. But again, when, as she quitted the
room, he saw her head half turned round, with an eye of enquiry if he
followed, he determined frankly, and at once, in his capacity of a
friend, to request some explanation of this meeting.
The assiduities of the Major made it difficult to speak to her; but the
aid of her desire for a conversation, which was equally anxious, and
less guarded than his own, anticipated his principal investigation, by
urging her, voluntarily to seize an opportunity of relating to him the
history of her first visit to Mrs. Arlbery; and of assuring him that the
second was indispensably its consequence.
Softened by this apparent earnestness for his good opinion, all his
interest and all his tenderness for her returned; and though much
chagrined at the accident, or rather mischief, which had thus
established the acquaintance, he had too little to say, whatever he had
to feel, of positive weight against it, to propose its now being
relinquished. He thanked her impressively for so ready an explanation;
and then gently added; 'I know your predilection in favour of this lady,
and I will say nothing to disturb it; but as she is yet new to you, and
as all residence, all intercourse, from your own home or relations, is
new to you also--tell me, candidly, sincerely tell me, can you
condescend to suffer an old friend, though in the person of but a young
man, to offer you, from time to time, a hint, a little counsel, a few
brief words of occasional advice? and even, perhaps, now and then, to
torment you into a little serious reflection?'