Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth
John Stuart Mill · en
Her silence, a suffocating sigh, and her earnest endeavour to hide her
face, easily explained to Mr. Tyrold all that passed within; and
respecting rather than wishing to conquer a shame flowing from fearful
delicacy, 'I would spare you,' he said, 'all investigation whatever,
could I be certain you are not called into any action; but, in that
case, I know not that I can justify to myself so implicit a confidence,
in youth and inexperience so untried in difficulties, so unused to evil
or embarrassment as yours. Tell me then, my dear Camilla, do you sigh
under the weight of any disingenuous conduct? or do you suffer from some
suspence which you have no means of terminating?'
'My dearest father, no!' cried she, sinking upon his breast. 'I have no
suspence!'
She gasped for breath.
'And how has it been removed, my child?' said Mr. Tyrold, in a mournful
tone; 'has any deception, any ungenerous art....'
'O no, no!... he is incapable ... he is superior ... he....' She stopt
abruptly; shocked at the avowal these few words at once inferred of her
partiality, of its hopelessness, and of its object.
She walked, confused, to a corner of the room, and, leaning against the
wainscot, enveloped her face in her handkerchief, with the most painful
sensations of shame.
Mr. Tyrold remained in deep meditation. Her regard for Edgar he had
already considered as undoubted, and her undisguised acknowledgment
excited his tenderest sympathy: but to find she thought it without
return, and without hope, penetrated him with grief. Not only his own
fond view of the attractions of his daughter, but all he had observed,
even from his childhood, in Edgar, had induced him to believe she was
irresistibly formed to captivate him; and what had lately passed had
seemed a confirmation of all he had expected. Camilla, nevertheless,
exculpated him from all blame; and, while touched by her artlessness,
and honouring her truth, he felt, at least, some consolation to find
that Edgar, whom he loved as a son, was untainted by deceit, unaccused
of any evil. He concluded that some unfortunate secret entanglement, or
some mystery not yet to be developed, directed compulsatorily his
conduct, and checked the dictates of his taste and inclination.
Gently, at length, approaching her, 'My dearest child,' he said, 'I will
ask you nothing further; all that is absolutely essential for me to
know, I have gathered. You will never, I am certain, forget the noble
mother whom you are bound to revere in imitating, nor the affectionate
father whom your ingenuousness renders the most indulgent of your
friends. Dry up your tears then, my Camilla, and command your best
strength to conceal for ever their source, and, most especially ... from
its cause.'
He then embraced, and left her.