Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Camilla; or, A Picture of Youth
John Stuart Mill · en
Here, in the most painful suspence, dying for information, yet shirking
whoever could give it her, she remained, till she saw the departure of
the surgeon. She then went round by a back way to the apartment of
Eugenia, who informed her that the contusion, though not dangerous, was
violent, and that Mr. Tyrold had insisted upon immediate bleeding. The
surgeon had assured them this precaution would prevent any ill
consequence; but Sir Hugh, hearing from the servants what had happened,
had desired that Edgar would not return home till the next day.
The joy of Camilla, that nothing was more serious, banished all that was
disagreeable from her thoughts, till she was called back to reflections
less consoling, by meeting Mr. Tyrold, as she was returning to her own
room; who, with a gravity unusual, desired to speak with her, and
preceded her into the chamber.
Trembling, and filled with shame, she followed, shut the door, and
remained at it without daring to look up.
'My dear Camilla,' cried he with earnestness, 'let me not hope in vain
for that exertion you have promised me, and to which I know you to be
fully equal. Risk not, my dear girl, to others, those outward marks of
sensibility which, to common or unfeeling observers, seem but the effect
of an unbecoming remissness in the self-command which should dignify
every female who would do herself honour. I had hoped, in this house at
least, you would not have been misunderstood; but I have this moment
been undeceived: Miss Margland has just expressed a species of
compassion for what she presumes to be the present state of your mind,
that has given me the severest pain.'
He stopt, for Camilla looked thunderstruck.
Approaching her, then, with a look of concern, and a voice of
tenderness, he kindly took her hand, and added: 'I do not tell you this
in displeasure, but to put you upon your guard. You will hear from
Eugenia that we shall not dine alone; and from what I have dropt you
will gather how little you can hope to escape scrutiny. Exert yourself
to obviate all humiliating surmises, and you will amply be repaid by the
balm of self-approbation.'
He then kissed her, and quitted the room.
She now remained in utter despair: the least idea of disgrace totally
broke her spirit, and she sat upon the same spot on which Mr. Tyrold had
left her, till the ringing of the second dinner bell.
She then gloomily resolved to plead an head-ache, and not to appear.
When a footman tapt at her door, to acquaint her every body was seated
at the table, she sent down this excuse: forming to herself the further
determination, that the same should suffice for the evening, and for the
next morning, that she might avoid the sight of Edgar, in presence
either of her father or Miss Margland.