Stopford Brooke ... lecturing on Browning ... blissful moonface with a
fringe of white hair, talking and talking, like song and prayer and
politics, the past and the present showing together, Browning at the
centre of life and outside it all over the world, and seeing forward to
the future. Perfect quotations, short and long, and the end with the
long description of Pompilia ...... rising and spreading and ceasing,
not ending ... standing out alive in the midst of a world still shaped
by the same truths going on and on. “A marvellous piece of analysis.” He
had been waiting to say that to the other young man.
Introduce their philosophies of life, if any, she wrote; introduce
quotations. But there was no time; quotations would have to be
translated. Nothing could be done. The disaster was completely arranged.
There was no responsibility. She gathered the accepted pages neatly
together and began pencilling in improvements.
...... The pencilled sentences made a pleasant wandering decoration. The
earlier ones were forgotten and unfamiliar. Re-read now, they surprised
her. How had she thought of them? She had not thought of them. She had
been closely following something, and they had come, quietly, in the
midst of engrossment; but they were like a photograph, funny in their
absurd likeness, set there side by side with the photograph of Mr.
Lahitte. They were alive, gravely, after the manner of her graver self.
It was a curious marvel, a revelation irrevocably put down, reflecting a
certain sort of character ..... more oneself than anything that could be
done socially, together with others, and yet not herself at all, but
something mysterious, drawn uncalculatingly from some fund of common
consent, part of a separate impersonal life she had now unconsciously
confessed herself as sharing. She remained bent motionless in the
attitude of writing, to discover the quality of her strange state. The
morning was raw with dense fog; at her Wimpole Street ledgers she would
by this time have been cramped with cold; but she felt warm and tingling
with life as if she had been dancing, or for a long while in happy
social contact; yet so differently; deeply and serenely alive and
without the blank anxious looking for the continuance of social
excitement. This something would continue, it was in herself,
independently. It was as if there were someone with her in the room,
peopling her solitude and bringing close around her all her past
solitudes, as if it were their secret. They greeted her; justified.
Never again, so long as she could sit at work and lose herself to awake
with the season forgotten and all the circumstances of her life coming
back fresh leaping, as if narrated from the fascinating life of someone
else, would they puzzle or reproach her.