What they loved most
was the building, the grey stone corridors and archways, and being away
from home on a prolonged adventure, free to weave bright colours along
the invisible edges of life. She could not imagine them ever becoming in
the least like the elderly philanthropists on the platform. But they
were not free. The place was a sort of monastery of culture. If they
wore habits they would be free and deeply inspiring. But they went about
dressed longingly in the colours of sunlit landscapes, and lived their
social life with ideas. There was something monastic about the lofty
hall, with its neutral tinted walls and high-placed windows. But the
place was modern and well-ventilated, even sternly chilly. Turning on
her shoulder to examine the dutiful audience, she was startled by its
effect of massed intellectuality. These people were certainly not the
poor of the neighbourhood. By far the larger number were men, and
wherever she looked she met faces from which she turned quickly away
lest she should smile her pleasure. Even those that were heavy with
stoutness and beards had the same lit moving look of kindly adventurous
thought. They were a picked gathering; like the Royal Institution; but
more glowing. She turned back to the platform in high hope amidst the
outburst of applause greeting the retirement of the distressful lady and
deepening to enthusiasm as there emerged timidly from behind one of the
large platform screens a tall figure in evening dress, a great grown-up
boy, with a large fresh face and helpless straight hanging arms and
hands. He sat big and fixed, like an idol, whilst the chairman standing
bowing over his table hurriedly remarked that an introduction was
superfluous, and gazed at the audience with large moist blue eyes that
seemed permanently open and expressionless and yet to pray for
protection, or permission to retreat once more behind his screen. Miriam
pitied him from the bottom of her heart and saw with relief when he rose
that he produced a roll of papers for which a little one-legged
ecclesiastical reading desk was conveniently waiting. He was going to
read. But he placed his papers with large incapable fingers and she
feared they would flutter to the ground, till he turned and took one
fumbling expressionless step clear of the little desk and standing just
as he was, his arms hanging once more heavy and helpless at his side,
his eyes motionlessly fixed neither on the distance nor on any part of
the audience, as if sightlessly focussing everything before him, began,
without movement, or warning gesture, to speak. With the first sound of
his voice, Miriam surrendered herself to breathless listening. It
sounded out, at conversational pitch, with a colourless serenity that
instantly explained his bearing, revealing him beyond the region either
of diffidence or temerity. It was a voice speaking to no one, in a world
emptied of everything that had gone before.