But to-night they were radiant. On no walls in the world could there be
a brighter light. Streaming from their gaslit spaces, wherever she
turned, was the wide brilliance that had been on everything in the days
standing behind the shadow that had driven her into their enclosure. Eve
and Harriett, waiting for her together, in a new sunlit life, were the
full answer to their challenge. She was going _home_. The walls were
traveller’s walls. That had been their first fascination; but they had
known her only as a traveller; now as she dipped into the unbroken life
that would flow round her with the sound of her sisters’ blended voices,
they knew whence she came and what had been left behind. They saw her
years of travel contract to a few easily afforded moments, lit though
she had not known it, by light instreaming from the past and flowing now
visibly ahead across the farther years.
The distant forgotten forms of the friends of her London life, turning
away slighted, filled her, watching them, with a half-repenting
solicitude. But they had their mysterious secret life, incomprehensible,
but their own; they turned away towards each other and their own
affairs, all of them set, at varying angles, unquestioningly towards a
prospect she did not wish to share.
She went eagerly to sleep and woke in a few moments in a morning whose
sounds coming through the open window, called to her as she leapt out
towards them, for responsive demonstrations. Her desire to shout,
thrilled to her feet, winged them.
Sitting decorously at the breakfast-table, she felt in equal
relationship to all the bright assembly, holding off Mr. Shatov’s
efforts to engage her in direct conversation, that she might hear,
thoughtless and uncomprehending, the general sound of interwoven bright
inflections echoing quietly out into the vast morning. She ran out into
it, sending off her needless telegram for the joy of skimming over the
well-known flags with endless time to spare. The echoing London sky
poured down upon them the light of all the world. Within it her share
gleamed dancing, given to her by the London years, the London life,
shining now, far away, in multitudinous detail, the contemplated
enviable life of a stranger.
The third-class carriage was stuffy and cold, crowded with excited
travellers whose separate eyes strove in vain to reach the heart of the
occasion through a ceaseless exclamatory interchange about what lay just
behind them and ahead at the end of the journey..... At some time, for
some moments during the ensuing days, each one of them would be
alone..... Consulting the many pairs of eyes, so different yet so
strangely alike in their method of contemplation, so hindered and
distracted, she felt, with a stifling pang of conviction, that their
days would pass and bring no solitude, no single touch of realisation,
and leave them going on, with eyes still quenched and glazed, striving
outwards, now here now there, to reach some unapprehended goal.