other's faces, I, bloody and soiled and ragged and wild with the frenzy
of fear and impatience; he, pale as death, but resolute, and holding an
enormous bar over me.
"Quick!" he said. "Help me fasten this door!"
That sudden call of duty struck something habitual in me, and, without
knowing exactly what I was doing, I found myself assisting him in
barricading the door. The endeavor somewhat changed the current of my
thoughts from the danger that was unseen to the danger that was storming
under our windows. I must have muttered some kind of excuse for my
conduct to the Judge, for he said: "No time for apologies or
recriminations now. The house is full of my neighbors, who have come
here for protection. Go upstairs and look after the women. The best and
only thing we can do is to preserve a quiet place to die in, and not be
trampled to pieces. Are you armed?"
I dashed up the broad staircase, and found the upper rooms occupied by
women, some of whom, in morning attire hastily thrown on, were sitting
around with their heads in their hands, while others were huddled at the
windows, staring with strained looks of terror at the crowds on the
street. Walking up and down the room, wringing his hands, a middle-aged
man was giving expression to the most terrible irony and cowardice,
without reference to his listeners.
I ran my eye over the huddled groups of frightened women. The one I
sought was not there. I flew through the groaning figures on the
stairway up to her chamber. I knocked loudly, and called her by name
passionately. Then I listened. I heard nothing but the dull sounds of
the human tumult that came through the open casement, and the sighing
tones of the telegraph wires as the steady draft from the east swept
through them. I shook the door, and abjured her to come to me. Then in
my madness I burst it in. She was on her knees at the bed, with her
hands on her ears, and her head buried in the bedclothes. I fell down on
my knees beside her, and put my arm around her. "Kate," I said, "we will
die together. Look up. Love at least is eternal." She was cold. I caught
her head between my hands, and turned her beautiful face toward me. My
God, she was dead! Dead, with her staring eyes full of terror, and her
beautiful mouth set in hard and ghastly lines. Then it was that I felt
rise up within me for the first time the rebellious bitterness of the
natural man. Need I tell you that at such moments man is little better
than an animal, save in his free agency that enables him to defy? I
passed hours there--moaning, cursing, bewailing. When at last the force
of the paroxysm had expended itself, I shook my fist in the face of
heaven, with the obduracy of Pagan Greek, and said: "Come on now, you
envious Fates, and do your worst speedily, or I will be too quick for
you!"
Judge Brisbane found me there, raving.
"Do you know?" I asked.
"Yes," he answered, "and I am grateful. She is spared much that we must
endure."