"You need reminding in your turn that you are not paid to follow your
inclination... Will you please go on with the story? I am curious to
learn how it came about that Van Bleit boasted to you that the letters
were out of our reach. What grounds have you for assuming such a
statement to be true?"
"Grounds!" Lawless laughed again, with a savage sound in the mirth.
His mind had reverted to the scene on the veld in the early morning when
Van Bleit had sat with a revolver covering him, and a murderous finger
crooked round the trigger. "I have had what I believed to be those
letters in my hands--a dummy packet got up in order to trick me. I fell
into the trap with an ease that astounds me when I think of it. I've
been flogged like a Kaffir--by Van Bleit... bound by the wrists and
lashed." He touched his inflamed and injured eye. "I haven't recovered
the proper use of that yet," he said. "I doubt that I ever shall. What
little self-respect I had he has deprived me of... Perhaps that's why I
don't care a damn when you openly question my honesty. That's a full
report of my doings, up to the present. I am now waiting until my decoy
has got Van Bleit in tow--then I am going to face him again."
He fell to pacing the floor once more with his hands clasped behind him,
and his eyes filled with an expression of uncontrollable hate.
"When a man holds life cheaply--as I do,--when he's nothing to look
forward to, and very little to look back upon, he makes an ugly enemy...
You know something--not much, but still something--of my past. As I've
gone along Life's High Road there has been a hand occasionally to rest
in mine for a brief while; but at the first stumble it has been
withdrawn,--not one has ever clasped mine more firmly to help me over
the difficulties in the way... I'm not whining to you in self-excuse.
I've knocked up against hard facts all my life... I'm hard myself,
which may account for much. If it were not for a military training, I
should probably hit you in the face when you accuse me of applying to my
own use the money I have received from you. As it is, I ask you to
withdraw that charge. It's possibly the only creditable thing I have
achieved in life, but I have managed to steer clear of fraud."
He put a hand in his breast pocket, and, withdrawing a notebook, took
from between its leaves a paper which he tossed upon the table.
"There's the agreement you referred to a while since... You can tear it
across; it's not worth the paper it's written on. I'll stick to my part
of the bargain. I'll get the letters for you, if they're to be got.
But I want no other reward than the squaring of my account with Van
Bleit. For the rest--the funds to go on with--"