Then she parted from him and started to walk back alone, and he put the
horses at a canter and rode forward into the blue haze that shrouded and
softened the scene. The morning air was delicately fresh and crisp with
a touch of sharpness in it like the feel of an English spring. The
African winter, with its warm sunshiny days and cold nights, is the most
perfect season in a land that boasts one of the finest climates in the
world. White man's weather, it is called; and it sets the white man
thinking pleasantly of the land he speaks of and thinks of as Home. It
set Lawless thinking of Home as he rode across the veld,--of a gabled
grey-walled house set down in a pretty garden that gave upon a lane.
The lane in summer was gay with wild flowers and shaded by find old
elms, and he had walked there often with the beautiful woman who had
lived in the grey stone house, the woman who had professed to love him,
and who had written to him later that she never wished to see him again.
As he thought of it now a wave of bitterness surged over him. He
recalled a sentence in her letter that had stung him at the time--that
stung him still with a no less poignant pain: "_I do not know you... I
think I have never known you. You are a stranger to me, and, I see now,
my greatest enemy_." ... There were other things in the letter that had
hurt; but that sentence stood out luridly with no whit of the bitterness
gone from it after all the years...
And so he rode, haunted by memories, his consciousness lashed with the
knowledge that what she had written was true. And he knew that the pain
of it all was still fresh in her memory as in his. He had read that in
her face, and in the tones of her voice, when, at what cost to her pride
he dimly understood, she had met and spoken with him again. And he was
consciously, deliberately, adding to her distress. At the time it had
been a matter of indifference to him what she thought of the life he was
leading; now, with his thoughts of her softened by distance, he
regretted that he had not deceived her as to the manner of his leaving
Cape Town. It had been a poor sort of revenge to flout his mistress in
her face--and unnecessary. A man usually conceals such ugly facts. But
it could avail little to harbour regrets at this stage. The thing was
at an end for ever. He was out of her life now. If she allowed her
thoughts to dwell upon him at all, it would only be, he felt, as upon
one who was dead to her, and who had caused her no less pain in his
dying than he had caused her in his life.