I wrote, at Tynemouth, a diary of my case and experience under
the mesmeric experiment (experiment desired and proposed by Mr.
Greenhow himself). _He_ read it when finished, and so did several
of my friends. There are two copies somewhere, for, not wishing to
show certain passages, rather saucy, about the Greenhow prejudices
and behavior, I accepted Mrs. Wynyard's kind offer to copy the
MS., omitting those remarks. Now where are those MSS? I cannot
find them, nor say what I did with them, beyond having a dim
notion that they (or at least Mrs. Wynyard's copy) were put away
into some safe place, to await future chances. I perfectly
remember the look of the packet, and the label on it, etc. When I
remember what was said after reading it, by one of the wisest
people I have known, I am _shocked_ at our inability to find
it. "One must dispute anything being the cause of anything, if one
disputes after reading this statement, that your recovery is due
to mesmerism." And now, while I see false statements of the
"facts," and false references circulating, as at present, I cannot
find my own narrative, written from day to day, and do not know
where to turn next! If I had strength I would turn out all the
papers in my possession, and make sure for myself. Now, dear
friend, do you think you ever saw that statement?
[Extract.]
September 18, 1874.
My malady was absolutely unlike cancer, and it never had any sort
of relation to "malignant" disease. The doctors called it
"indolent tumor--most probably polypus." Don't you remember how,
at that very time, the great dispute on Elliotson's hands was
whether any instance could be adduced of cure of organic disease
by mesmerism? Elliotson was nearly certain, but not quite, of the
cure of a cancer case in his own practice. The doctors were full
of the controversy, and some of them wrote both to me and to Mr.
Greenhow to inquire the nature of my case, whether malignant or
not. Of course we both replied "No." It would be a dreadful
misfortune if now anybody concerned should tell a different story.
Greenhow is still living (aged 82) and all alive; and he would
like nothing better than to get hold of it, and bring out another
indecent pamphlet. If I could but lay hands on the diary of the
case, written at the time, what a security it would be? But I can
nowhere find it. The next best security is turning back to the
statement, "Letters" in the _Athenaeum_ of the autumn of 1844.
Those "Letters" went through two editions when reprinted, after
having carried those numbers of the _Athenaeum_ through three
editions. One would think the narrative must be accessible enough.
Above all things, let there be no mistake in our statements.