Hope Mills; Or, Between Friend and Sweetheart — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Hope Mills; Or, Between Friend and Sweetheart
John Stuart Mill · en
He went down again that evening. If he had been annoyed before, he was
puzzled now. There had been no word spoken between Fred and Sylvie; but
the now, to her, sweet knowledge had come in a gesture, a glance, that
could no more be described than the fine pulse of love can be dissected.
She seemed to have waited breathless for just this strength and support.
A hasty lover might have placed himself in the foreground. It was as if
he said, "Here is my love, take it, use it, rely upon it; you cannot
wear it out, you cannot wound or hurt it by any thing that may look like
coldness; it is a blessed atmosphere to surround you until you stretch
out your hand, and draw me into your very soul. I have been trained in
patience and humility; only let me prove myself worthy in your eyes."
Three days after, they all came up to Yerbury. The evening before, Irene
Lawrence had gone to Sylvie's room, and found her kneeling by the open
window, her face turned heavenward in a wordless prayer for strength.
She knelt beside her, she took the passive hands in hers, she even
touched her own cold lips to the colder forehead of the other.
"Sylvie,"--the tone still had the awful dreariness of that utter inward
living,--"Sylvie, I have been drawn to you in this your anguish by some
power quite outside of myself. I think we have always liked each other
in a curious way, but we were neither of us sentimental girls. I could
not cry over you now, nor kiss you with effusive fondness; but I wish,
oh, how passionately I wish, I could save you one pang! I wish I could
die in _her_ place! My life is of so little value"--
"I believe God is right," Sylvie answered with a great struggle. "She
has used her life so well; she has garnered ripened sheaves of mercy and
kindliness and good works. There is not only golden wheat, but the
sweetness of rose and violet, the pungent purity and strength of
heliotrope, the use, the beauty, every thing. She is ready."
"And I am not worthy to be taken even for a ransom!" said the proud,
cold voice, not betraying any inward hurt.
"God does not mean that. You are to shape your life to something better.
Irene, did you ever think how easy it might be to die for those we love,
but oh, so hard to live for _them_, not ourselves!"
Irene rose, and stood there like a statue. Sylvie felt for the hand,
pressed it to her lips, folded it about her chin in a softly caressing
manner. How had Irene become dear to her?
"I am no heroine, Sylvie. I have been tossed up by the breakers of
fortune, and am out of joint, broken, bruised, of no avail."