The month for reflection drew to a close, and Prudence had arrived at no
settled resolve as to what she purposed doing; she could not determine
what to write to Mr Morgan. She had promised him that she would write,
but she found nothing to say. The relations between herself and her
family became more strained. William made unnecessary references to the
Graynor Honour at frequent intervals. The word of a Graynor, he
remarked, was regarded as equal to his bond--in the past; and left it to
be generally inferred that it remained for Prudence to break that
admirable record.
Old Mr Graynor took little notice of her. He was not actively unkind;
but she had disappointed him keenly, and he allowed her to feel the
weight of his displeasure.
Goaded beyond measure, her thoughts reverted at times to the dull
tranquillity of the Morningside establishment, and the relief to be
gained from Mrs Henry's bright companionship, the memory of which
brought a sense of comfort to her weary brain. If it were not for old
Mrs Morgan...
She sat down one day to write to Mr Morgan. She took her engagement
ring from the locked drawer and packed it in its case and directed it to
him. All of which was entirely simple. But the writing of the letter
was a different matter. It was very difficult to set down on paper what
she wanted to say. Ultimately the letter was written but the finished
production did not please her; the sentences looked bald and brutal and
ungracious. It was one thing to resolve to refuse to marry a man unless
he sent his old mother out of the home, it was another and altogether
detestable matter to put that statement on to paper. She could not do
it. Either she must marry the man unconditionally, or end the
engagement finally. It was impossible to make any such stipulation.
So the letter was never sent. Prudence eventually destroyed it; and
still in a state of desperate indecision, entered upon a further period
for reflection.
The re-opening of the subject devolved upon Mr Morgan. After the lapse
of six weeks a letter arrived, reminding her of her promise to write to
him, urging his love upon her, and hoping that she had reconsidered her
decision. It was a restrained and kindly letter, with not one sentence
in the whole of it into which she could read a hint at reproach. Quite
at the finish he wrote:
"My mother sends her love, and wishes me to say that, as possibly you
would be happier keeping house alone, she will find a home for herself
near ours."
A flush came into Prudence's face while she read these words. She
smiled ruefully, and laid the letter aside, and sat quite still, looking
out at the sunlight with a shadow of doubt like a passing cloud
darkening the blue of her eyes.
"That knocks down all my defences," she mused, and moved suddenly and
found her handkerchief and buried her face in it. "I'm a fool to cry,"
she reflected. "It doesn't alter anything really... But I wish she
hadn't sent that message."