Interim : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 5 — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Interim : $b Pilgrimage, Volume 5
John Stuart Mill · en
bowed and looked into eyes set far back in the thin mask of the face.
Her eyes passed a question from the expressionless eyes to the
motionless expressionless face. How could he be a composer; looking so
... vanishing? Strelinsky ... Morceau pour piano ... that must be
_he_ standing here; did you write this she said abruptly and hummed the
beginning. It sounded shapeless and toneless, but there was a little
tune just ahead. She broke off short of it not sure that he was
attending; the world burst into laughter; his face turned slowly and
stopped looking downwards across her, his eyes fixed in a dead
repetition of the laughter in which she was drowning. He stood in space
in a faded coat and hat, a colourless figure clothed by her feebleness
in lively dignity and wisdom ... grouped inaccessibly beyond the vast
space were solid tables filled with judges; dim figures stood in
judgment in the amber light under the gallery where palms stood; she was
drowning alone, surrounded by a distant circle of palms. Eleven. We must
go miss stated Mr. Mendizabal cordially. Miriam rose. The tide of café
life flowed all round her. She wandered blissfully out through the misty
smoke-wreathed golden light, threading her way amongst the tables
towards the black and gold of the streets. Far away behind her, staying
in the evening, Strelinsky blocked the view, moving, fixed avertedly,
with eyes in his shoulders along an endless narrowing distance of café.
CHAPTER VII
Miriam found her old prayer-book and scribbled her name on the
flyleaf.... Bella de Castro writing _from mother_ under her name in her
bible ... _feeling_ something, privately, not knowing that anyone
would see it.... The sunlight pouring in on the thin bible page; the
words written plumply with one of Bella's blunt uncared-for pencils. Her
thick ropy black plait, brilliant oily Italian eyes in her long fat
handsome face; staring out of the window sullenly waiting for schooldays
to be at an end; her handsome horrible brother on horseback; just the
same; the high-water marks above her wrists when she washed her hands,
and then, from mother, stubbed carefully, _meaning_.
The pencilled _Miriam_ gave a false meaning to the prayer-book. There
was no indiarubber, she would have to take it down as it was. It was a
letter, written to Dr. von Heber, supposed to be written when she was a
girl.... She carried the book downstairs. The Baileys were still
sitting by the fire with their backs to Dr. von Heber standing alone in
the twilight in the middle of the room. She came forward, handing the
book stiffly and sat busily down to the piano again, angrily recording
his quiet formal thanks and silent swift departure. She began playing
where she had left off; telling Dr. von Heber as he went downstairs that
he had come up and made a scene and interrupted her; that her chosen
evening was to sit, with the Baileys, playing the piano; that she was
not a church-goer.