Mr. Ford meditated. It may be said here that he by no means knew all
that the reader knows of Jan’s history; but he saw that his client was
anxious not to withhold the money if the child were alive.
“I think I have it, my dear sir,” he said suddenly. “Allow me to write,
in my own name, to this worthy clergyman. I must ask you to subscribe to
his fund, in my name, which will form an excuse for the letter, and I
will contrive to ask him if the list of cases has been printed
accurately, and has his sanction. If there has been any error, we shall
hear of it. The object of the subscription is—let me see—is—a monument
to those who have died of the fever and”—
But the dark gentleman had started up abruptly.
“Thank you, thank you, Mr. Ford,” he said; “your plan is, as usual,
excellent. Pray oblige me by sending ten guineas in your own name, and
you will let me know if—if there _is_ any mistake. I will call in
to-morrow about other matters.”
And before Mr. Ford could reply his client was gone.
The peculiar solitude to be found in the crowded heart of London was
grateful to his present mood. To have been alone with his thoughts in
the country would have been intolerable. The fields smack of innocence,
and alone with them the past is apt to take the simple tints of right and
wrong in the memory. But in that seething mass, which represents ten
thousand heartaches and anxieties, doubtful shifts, and open sins, as bad
or worse than a man’s own, there is a silent sympathy and no reproach.
Mr. Ford’s client did not lean back, the tension of his mind was too
great. He sat stiffly, and gazed vacantly before him, half seeing and
half transforming into other visions whatever lay before the hansom, as
it wound its way through the streets. Now for a moment a four-wheeled
cab, loaded with schoolboy luggage, occupied the field of view, and idle
memories of his own boyhood flitted over it. Then, crawling behind a
dray, some strange associations built up the barrels into an old
weatherstained wooden house in Holland, and for a while an intense
realization of past scenes which love had made happy put present
anxieties to sleep. But they woke again with a horrible pang, as a grim,
hideous funeral car drove slowly past, nodding like a nightmare.
As the traffic became less dense, and the cab went faster, the man’s
thoughts went faster too. He strove to do what he had not often tried,
to review his life. He had unconsciously gained the will to do it,
because a reparation which conscience might hitherto have pressed on him
was now impossible, and because the plague that had desolated Abel Lake’s
home had swept the skeleton out of his own cupboard, and he could repent
of the past and do his duty in the future. His conscience was stronger
than his courage. He had long wished to repent, though he had not found
strength to repair.