672. A Cantab, who happened to be under Sir B. Harwood, when professor, was enjoined to live temperately, as a cure for his malady. The doctor called upon him one day, and found him enjoying himself over a bottle of Madeira. Ah, doctor! exclaimed the patient, at the same time reaching out his hand to bid him welcome, I am glad to see you; you are just in time to taste the first bottle of some prime Madeira! Ah! replied Sir Busack, these bottles of Madeira will never do―they are the cause of all your sufferings! Are they so? cried the patient, then fill your glass, my dear doctor; for, since we know the cause, the sooner we get rid of it the better. 673. A late wit, at the time when the revolutionary names of the months (Thermidor, Floréal, Nivose, &c.) were adopted in France, proposed to extend the innovation to our own language, somewhat on the following model: Freezy, Sneezy, Breezy, Wheezy; Showery, Lowery, Flowery, Bowery; Snowy, Flowy, Blowy, Glowy. 674. A duel, between M. de Langerie and M. de Montande, both remarkable for their ugliness, had a very comic catastrophe. Arrived at the place of fighting, M. de Langerie stared his adversary in the face, and said, I have just reflected; I can’t fight with you. With this he returned his sword to its scabbard. How, sir, what does this mean? It means that I shall not fight. What! you insult me, and refuse to give me satisfaction? If I have insulted you, I ask a thousand pardons, but I have an insurmountable reason for not fighting with you. But, sir, may one know it? It will offend you. No, sir. You assure me? Yes, I assure you. Well, sir, this it is: if we fight, according to all appearances I shall kill you, and then I shall remain the ugliest fellow in the kingdom. His adversary could not help laughing, and they returned to the city good friends. 675. A clergyman, on leaving church, was complimented by one of his friends on the discourse he had been delivering. South himself, exclaimed the delighted auditor, never preached a better. You are right, replied the honest divine,―it was the very best he ever did preach. 676. On a remarkably hot summer’s day, an Irishman, thinly and openly dressed, sitting down in a violent perspiration, was cautioned against catching cold. Catch it? said he, wiping his face, where? I wish I could catch it. 677. Sheridan made his appearance one day in a pair of new boots―these attracting the notice of some of his friends, Now guess, said he, how I came by these boots? Many probable guesses then took place. No! said Sheridan, no, you’ve not hit it, nor ever will; I bought them, and paid for them. 678. A gentleman, long famous for the aptitude of his puns, observing a violent fracas in the front of a gin-shop, facetiously termed it the battle of A-gin-court.