931. The Duke d’Ossuna, being viceroy of Naples, went on board a Spanish galley, on a festival, to exercise his right of delivering one of the wretches from punishment. On interrogating them why they were brought there, they all asserted their innocence but one, who confessed that his punishment was too small for his crimes. The duke said, Here, take away this rascal, lest he should corrupt all these honest men! 932. V― having satirized a nobleman who was powerful at court, the latter sought every occasion to revenge himself, and challenged V― to fight him with swords. We are not equals, replied the poet; you are very great, I am little; you are brave, I am cowardly; you wish to kill me―_eh bien_, I will consider myself as dead. This timely jest turned the anger of the nobleman into irrestrainable laughter, and they parted good friends. 933. In the time of the old court, the faces of the Parisian ladies were spotted with patches like pards, and plastered with rouge like so many red lions of the roadside. Lord Chesterfield, being at Paris, was asked by Voltaire, if he did not think some French ladies, then in company, whose cheeks were fashionably tinted, very beautiful. Excuse me, said Chesterfield, from giving an opinion: I am really no judge of amateur painting. 934. George II. passing through his chamber one evening, preceded by a single page, a small canvas bag of guineas, which he held in his hand, accidentally dropped, and one of them rolled under a closet door, in which wood was usually kept for the use of his bed-chamber. After the king had very deliberately picked up the money, he found himself deficient of a guinea; and, guessing where it went, Come, said he to the page, we must find this guinea; here, help me to throw out the wood. The page and he accordingly went to work, and after some time found it. Well, said the king, you have wrought hard, there is the guinea for your labour, but I would have nothing lost. 935. A beauish marquis waited on some ladies, in order to take them to the Paris Observatory, where the celebrated Cassini was to observe an eclipse of the sun. The arrival of this party had been delayed by the toilet; and the eclipse was over when the petit-maitre appeared at the door. He was informed he had come too late, and that all was over. Never mind, ladies, said he, step up; Monsieur Cassini is a particular friend of mine; he will be so obliging as to begin again for me. 936. When Rabelais was on his death-bed, a consultation of physicians was called. Dear gentlemen, said the wit to the doctors, raising his languid head, let me die a natural death.