1266. A servant, near Limerick, at the time that everybody was required to deliver in their arms, wrote to his master at Dublin, that he had secured the fire arms, having sent all the pokers and tongs to the barracks. 1267. A young lady at the Exhibition at the Suffolk Street Gallery, looking at a subject of still life,―plates, dishes, &c., asked the gentleman who accompanied her, to look in the catalogue and see what it was; he replied, A study. Why, goodness, said she, I took it for a kitchen! 1268. A fine ship was lately launched, at which Sir Henry Tempest attended. A wag observed, What a pity it is, that a tempest should accompany such a launch. 1269. On the expulsion of Mr. Jones from the Irish House of Commons, a punning wag remarked, that this was not In-I-go Jones―but Out-I-go Jones. 1270. Of a person as remarkable for his irregularity as for his musical talents, it was aptly remarked, that the whole tenor of his conduct was thorough base. 1271. A fashionable Irish gentleman having made a purchase of Hume’s History of England, went into a bookseller’s shop to have it most elegantly bound. What binding would you like best? asked the bookseller, would you like it bound in Russia? In Russia! exclaimed the man of fashion; Oh, no, no, that is too far off, I’d rather have it bound in Bond Street. 1272. A very corpulent gentleman travelling in the north, was walking backwards and forwards in front of an inn, while the horses were changing. One of the gapers, an inhabitant of the place, had a mind to be witty: viewing the gentleman’s person, he accosted him with―I see, sir, you carry your portmanteau before ye. Certainly, said he, I always think it requisite to have it under my eye, when passing through a suspicious looking place. 1273. Grattan being asked his opinion of the valour of a certain captain, who from excess of feeling put up with a severe castigation, replied, That he thought it odd, for to his knowledge the captain had fought. Who, who? cried his informant. Shy, said the witty barrister. 1274. A trader in Dublin, said one day to his friend, I will be ruined. I am sorry for it, said the other, but if you will be ruined, you know no one can prevent it. 1275. A gentleman being much pressed in company to sing a song, observed pettishly, That they only wanted to make a butt of him. By no means, my dear fellow, rejoined one of his tormentors, we only want to get a stave out of you. 1276. A Welchman coming to London to pursue a suit at law, chanced to steal a sow, for which he was taken and burnt in the hand. His friends asked him, when he arrived home, How the law went with him? Priddie well, said he, for hur has got hur in hur hand. 1277. What did Mr. King die of? asked a simple neighbour. Of a complication of disorders, replied his friend. How do you describe a complication, my good sir? He died, rejoined the other, of two physicians, an apothecary, and a surgeon.