He had been standing by her grave where she had rested for eight long
years, he had read her name carved on the cold, white marble, but back
here in the room where he had wooed her for his wife, where she had
promised to be his, it seemed to him that he could not make her dead.
She haunted him--not in
"The garments
Dripping like cerement,"
in which she had been drawn from her watery grave; but bright,
blushing, beautiful, as in those days forever past when she had come to
Eden first and made herself his fate.
His fate! Yes, it had come to that. The one woman who had stirred his
heart to its deepest depths, who had loved him so blindly, and deceived
him so terribly, had made herself his fate. He had not forgotten her,
he never would forget. He remembered the dark, wistful eyes, the
trembling smile of the crimson lips, the curling golden hair, the warm,
dimpled, white hands. Ah! only to clasp them again, only to kiss the
lovely responsive lips, what would he not have given!
"But that rose is not
Anywhere just now--God knows
Where all the old sweetness goes."
"If only I had forgiven her," he said to himself as he had said it
over and over in the long, weary years. "She was only a child and the
temptation was so great. I was hard and cold. I thought only of myself,
my own injuries. Poor little loving Laurel, driven to her death by my
hard judgment. Ah, that my sorrow, my love, my repentance could bring
her back!"
He bent his head wearily down upon his folded hands heedless of the
light, gliding step that came to his side, the soft touch that fell
upon his hair, the voice that breathed in loving sympathy, "My son."
It was his mother. She knew where he had been, and her heart was full
of grief and sorrow for his hopeless pain. Yet she knew that words
were powerless to soothe the agony of remorse and pain that filled his
heart. She only came with her silent sympathy to be near him because
she loved him and shared in his grief.
He looked up at last, trying to seem cheerful for her sake, for she,
too, was sadly changed by the progress of the years. The soft waves of
hair that clustered on her brow had grown snowy white, the high-bred
patrician face was pale and sad, her voice had always a tone of
unconscious pathos in its low, clear modulations.
"I am sorry you have found me thus, mother," he said, seeing the
sorrowful tears shining in her gentle eyes. "Years should have taught
me to be brave and strong. But you know where I have been. It brought
the past all back, and temporarily unnerved me."