Millbank; $b or, Roger Irving's ward. A novel — John Stuart Mill — John Shaqi
Millbank; $b or, Roger Irving's ward. A novel
John Stuart Mill · en
Magdalen was going to the library to see Roger, who sat just where Frank
had left him, with his head bowed upon the fatal paper which had done
him so much harm. The blow had fallen so suddenly, and in so aggravating
a form, that it had stunned him in part, and he could not realize the
full extent of his calamity. One fact, however, stood out distinctly
before his mind, “Magdalen was lost forever!” Frank had said openly that
she was to be his wife! She had come to a decision. She would be the
mistress of Millbank, without a doubt. But he who had once hoped to make
her that himself, would be far away,—a poor, unknown man,—earning his
bread by the sweat of his brow. Roger did not care for that contingency.
He was willing to work; but he felt how much easier toil would be if it
was for Magdalen’s sake that he grew tired and worn. He was thinking of
all this when Magdalen came to his door, knocking so softly that he did
not hear at first; then, when the knock was repeated, he made no answer
to it, for he would rather be left alone. Ordinarily, Magdalen would
have turned back without venturing to enter; but she was desperate now.
She _must_ see Roger that night, and she resolutely turned the door-knob
and went into his presence.
Roger lifted up his head as she came in, and then sprang to his feet,
startled by her white face and the change in her appearance since he saw
her last. Then she had stood before him in the hall, winding the scarf
around his neck, her face glowing with health and happiness and girlish
beauty, and her eyes shining upon him like stars. They were very bright
now, unnaturally so he thought, and there was a glitter in them which
reminded him of the woman in the cars who had left her baby with him.
“Magdalen,” he said, as he went forward to meet her. “I did not think
you had been so sick as your looks indicate. Let me lead you to the
sofa.”
He laid his hand on her shoulder, but she shook it off and sank into a
chair close beside the one he had vacated.
“Don’t touch me yet, Roger, oh Roger,” she began, and Roger’s heart gave
a great leap, for never before had she called him thus to his face.
“Excuse me for coming here to-night. I know it is not maidenly, perhaps,
but I must see you, and tell you it was all a horrible mistake. I did
not know what I was doing. Hester talked so much about that loose board
in the garret and something hidden under it, that once, a week ago or
more, it seems a year to me, I went up to shut a window; my curiosity
led me to look under the floor, and I found it, Roger, and read it
through, and Frank came and surprised me, and then the secret was no
longer mine, and I—oh, Mr. Irving, I wanted to keep it from you,
till—till—I cannot explain the whole, and I don’t know at all how it
came into your hands. Can you forgive me, Roger? I could have burned it
at once or had it burned, but I dared not. Would you have liked me
better if I had destroyed it?”