From that hour, Herman avoided me. Weeks passed, and he was not seen at my house. At church he never seemed to be conscious of my presence; and, the service over, hurried at once from the place, without a single glance or sign of recognition. At length, Fanny's visits became less frequent; and, when she did come to see me, her manner manifested a conflict of confidence and suspicion. That this wounded me--that the absence of Herman cut me to the soul--may easily be imagined. I passed my time between alternations of hope and despair; now listening, and in vain, for the echo of Herman's step--and now bathed in unavailing tears. Conscious that my passion for Herman was the last link that bound me to purity--to life itself--I did not give up the hope of seeing him at my feet, as in former days, until months had elapsed. Finally, grown desperate, and anxious to avoid the sting of wounded love, the perpetual presence of harrowing memories, I sought the society of that class of fashionables, to whom my first husband, Issachar Burley, had introduced me. I kept open house for them. Revels, from midnight until dawn, in which men and women of the first class mingled, served for a time to banish reflection, and sap, tie by tie, every thread of hope which held me to a purer state of life. The kennel has its orgies, and the hovel, in which ignorance and squalor join in their uncouth debauch; but the orgie of the parlor, in which beauty, intellect, fashion and refinement are mingled, far surpasses, in unutterable vulgarity, the lowest orgie of the kennel. Amid the uproar of scenes like these, news reached me that the Rev. Herman Barnhurst and Miss Fanny Lansdale were shortly to be united in marriage. CHAPTER XIII. AN UNUTTERABLE CRIME. One evening I was sitting alone, in the back parlor, near a table on which stood a lighted candle and a wine-glass, (for I now at times began to seek oblivion in wine,) when Gerald Dudley was announced. Gerald was one of my fashionable friends, over forty in years, tall in stature, with a florid face, short curling brown hair, and sandy whiskers. He was a _roué_, and a gambler, and--save the mark--one of the first fashionables of New York. He entered, dressed in a showy style; blue coat, red velvet vest, plaid pants, brimstone-colored gloves, and a profusion of rings and other jewelry--a style indicative of the man. Seating himself on the sofa, he began chatting in his easy way about passing events of fashionable life, and of the world at large. "By-the-bye, the popular preacher, young Barnhurst, is to be married; and to such a love of a girl--daughter of old Lansdale, the _millionaire_. Lucky fellow! Do you know that I've often noticed her at church--a perfect _Hebe_--and followed her home, once or twice, and that I shouldn't mind marrying her myself if I could get a chance!" And he laughed a laugh which showed his white teeth. "Bah! But that's it--I can't get a chance."