I remained motionless. I felt turned to stone. I don't know how long I
stood so. Suddenly I turned to Mattia. He was looking at me with eyes
full of tears. I signed to him and again we left the house. For a long
time we walked about, side by side, holding each other's hands, saying
nothing, going straight before us without knowing where we were going.
"Where do you want to go, Remi?" he asked at last, anxiously.
"I don't know. Somewhere so we can talk. I want to speak to you, Mattia.
We can't talk in this crowd."
We had by this time come to a much wider street at the end of which was
a public garden. We hurried to this spot and sat down on a bench.
"You know how much I love you, Mattia boy," I began, "and you know that
it was through friendship for you that I asked you to come with me to
see my people. You won't doubt my friendship, no matter what I ask of
you?"
"Don't be such a silly," he said, forcing a smile.
"You want to laugh so that I won't break down," I replied. "If I can't
cry when I'm with you, when can I cry? But.... Oh ... oh, Mattia,
Mattia!"
Throwing my arms around dear old Mattia's neck, I burst into tears.
Never had I felt so miserable. When I had been alone in this great
world, never had I felt so unhappy as I did at this moment. After my
burst of sobs I forced myself to be calm. It was not because I wanted
Mattia's pity that I had brought him to this garden, it was not for
myself; it was for him.
"Mattia," I said resolutely, "you must go back to France."
"Leave you? Never!"
"I knew beforehand what you would reply and I am pleased, oh, so pleased
that you wish to be with me, but, Mattia, you _must_ go back to France
at once!"
"Why? Tell me that."
"Because.... Tell me, Mattia. Don't be afraid. Did you sleep last night?
Did you see?"
"I did not sleep," he answered.
"And you saw...?"
"All."
"And you understood?"
"That those goods had not been paid for. Your father was angry with the
men because they knocked at the stable door and not at the house door.
They told him that the police were watching them."
"You see very well, then, that you must go," I said.
"If I must go, you must go also; it is no better for one than for the
other."
"If you had met Garofoli in Paris and he had forced you to go back to
him, I am sure you would not have wanted me to stay with you. I am
simply doing what you would do yourself."
He did not reply.
"You must go back to France," I insisted; "go to Lise and tell her that
I cannot do for her father what I promised. I told her that the first
thing I did would be to pay off his debts. You must tell her how it is,
and go to Mother Barberin also. Simply say that my people are not rich
as I had thought; there is no disgrace in not having money. _But don't
tell them anything more._"
"It is not because they are poor that you want me to go, so I shan't
go," Mattia replied obstinately. "I know what it is, after what we saw
last night; you are afraid for me."
"Mattia, don't say that!"