“It’s your turn now, Jack. I’ve done my part. I’m leaving the future in
your hands; and I believe you’ll make good. I wish I could help you;
but I’m done, now. I would only hamper you if I tried to do anything.”
I tried to say something reassuring, but the words faltered on my
lips. The sight of that drawn face was proof enough. Nordenholt had
driven his physical machine as ruthlessly as he had driven his factory
workers; and it was clear that he had overstrained his bodily powers.
His tremendous will had kept him on his feet until the moment of
success; but I could see now what it had cost him. He had drawn on his
vital capital; and with the accomplishment of his task a revulsion had
set in and the over-tired body was exacting its toll.
As I sat looking at him there, a great feeling of loneliness swept
over me. Here, before me, was the man upon whose strength I had leaned
for the past months, the mind which had seen so clearly, the will
which had held its line so tenaciously; and now, I felt, Nordenholt
was leaning on me in his turn. It seemed almost an inversion of the
course of Nature; and with the realisation of it, I felt a sense of an
enormous loss. In the next stages of the Area’s history, there would
be no Nordenholt to lean upon: I would have to stand on my own feet,
and I doubted my capacity. Almost without my recognising it, I had been
working always with Nordenholt in my mind, even in my own department.
I had carried out things boldly because I knew that ever in reserve
behind me were that brain and that will of his which could see further
and drive harder than I could dare; and I had relied unconsciously upon
him to steer me through my difficulties if they proved too great for my
own powers. And now, by the look on his face and the weariness of his
voice, I knew that I stood alone. I had no right to throw my burdens on
his shoulders any more.
And with a gulp in the throat, I remembered that he trusted me to go
forward. I suppose I ought to have felt some joy in the knowledge that
he had left the reconstruction in my hands; but any pride I had in this
was swallowed up in that devastating feeling of loss. With the collapse
of Nordenholt, something had gone out of my world, never to return. It
left me in some way maimed; and I felt as though the main source of my
strength had been cut away just when I most needed all my powers.
“You’ll do your best, Jack? The Area trusted us. Don’t let them down.”
I tried to tell him I would do my utmost; but I had difficulty in
finding words. I could see that he understood me, however.
“There’s one thing I’m sorry about--Elsa. She hasn’t come round yet.
But she will, in time. She hates me still, I know; and it’s a pity, for
I need her now, more than I ever did before. I’m a very sick man, Jack.
Luckily, this breach between us has let her stand on her own feet. She
doesn’t need me so much as she did.”