O, listen, listen, bruddehs! Ah choke him in de th'oat; En when ole Satan come erlong, He wrop him in his coat! "Said Governor Tom." Said Governor Tom to the law-making boys: "You are green at the bus'ness, I know; It is well that you move rather slow; If you'll let me advise, You'll be worthy and wise, And the people secure in their joys,--" Said Governor Tom to the boys. Said Governor Tom to the law-making boys: "I will warn you of dangers that lurk In the ways of your dangerous work; If the lobbies entice, You should take my advice, And turn a deaf ear to their noise,--" Said Governor Tom to the boys. Said Governor Tom to the law-making boys: "In the passing of measures immense Is involved quite a lot of expense, And the armies that stand When there's peace in the land Are the most unproductive of toys,--" Said Governor Tom to the boys. Said Governor Tom to the law-making boys: "It is well to remember the wills Of the people who settle the bills, And the anger that lurks In the hosts at the works Is a matter that greatly annoys,--" Said Governor Tom to the boys! The boys heard the message, each sentiment seized, And then went ahead and did just as they pleased; And no one would know From the way that they go, From the money they spend and the peace they destroy, What the Governor said to each law-making boy! Caught on the Fly. If some people couldn't worry, or make others worry, they'd never have a moment of happiness. Don't go gunning for happiness. When you are least expecting it she squats at your feet and hops out to meet you. Little Sermons. If there wasn't a Devil, some people would have nobody but themselves to blame their sins on. When we link hands with pleasure for a few minutes, we forget all the wisdom Trouble has taught us through the years. Some people like to move about so much, that if they bought a ticket for heaven they'd insist on getting a round-trip in order to be on the safe side. If the golden streets could be dug up and carried off to the smelter, there'd be whole battalions of people lined up before daylight with grubbing-hoes on their shoulders waiting to stake off claims. Mister Ground Hog. Ole Mistah Groun'-hog rouse hisse'f Fum dat long nap he take; He say: "Ah 'spec' Ah'd bettah move,-- It's gittin' late, my sake!" So he jes' rub his ole eyes wide, En dress up foh a stroll; He wax his whiskehs up, en den He crawl out ob his hole! Up yondah shine de big red sun, Eh-blazin' in the sky, En at his side his shaddeh walk,-- So Mistah Groun'-hog fly! He skeehed so bad he tuhn him 'roun' En say, "Ah wake too soon; Ah'll jes' go home en take a nap 'Twel Sunday aftehnoon!"