She waited stiff and ugly till Fräulein, secure and summer-clad, spoke
softly again.
"You think, my child, you shall like the profession of a teacher?"
"Oh yes," said Miriam, from the midst of a tingling flush.
"I think you have many qualities that make the teacher.... You are
earnest and serious-minded.... Grave.... Sometimes perhaps overgrave for
your years.... But you have a serious fault--which must be corrected if
you wish to succeed in your calling."
Miriam tried to pull her features into an easy enquiring seriousness. A
darkness was threatening her. "You have a most unfortunate manner."
Without relaxing, Miriam quivered. She felt the blood mount to her head.
"You must adopt a quite, quite different manner. Your influence is, I
think, good, a good English influence in its most general effect. But it
is too slightly so and of too much indirection. You must exert it
yourself, in a manner more alive, you must make it your aim that you
shall have a responsible influence, a direct personal influence. You
have too much of chill and formality. It makes a stiffness that I am
willing to believe you do not intend."
Miriam felt a faint dizziness.
"If you should fail to become more genial, more simple and natural as to
your bearing, you will neither make yourself understood nor will you be
loved by your pupils."
"No----" responded Miriam, assuming an air of puzzled and interested
consideration of Fräulein's words. She was recovering. She must get to
the end of the interview and get away and find the answer. Far away
beneath her fear and indignation, Fräulein was answered. She must get
away and say the answer to herself.
"To truly fulfil the most serious rôle of the teacher you must enter
into the personality of each pupil and must sympathise with the
struggles of each one upon the path on which our feet are set. Efforts
to good kindliness and thought for others must be encouraged. The
teacher shall be sunshine, human sunshine, encouraging all effort and
all lovely things in the personality of the pupil."
Fräulein rose and stood, tall. Then her half-tottering decorous
footsteps began. Miriam had hardly listened to her last words. She felt
tears of anger rising and tried to smile.
"I shall say now no more. But when you shall hear from your good
parents, we can further discuss our plans." Fräulein was at the door.
Fräulein left the saal by the small door and Miriam felt her way to the
schoolroom. The girls were gathering there ready for a walk. Some were
in the hall and Fräulein's voice was giving instructions: "Machen Sie
schnell, Miss Henderson," she called.
Fräulein had never before called to her like that. It had always been as
if she did not see her but assumed her ready to fall in with the general
movements.
Now it was Fräulein calling to her as she might do to Gertrude or
Solomon. There was no hurried whisper from Jimmie telling her to "fly
for her life."